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Non-Anachronistic Doorbell

When the mail arrives, do you hear bagpipes?
 
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Think about it: When someone's at your door, what does a ringing bell have to do with it? It's like hearing a trombone when your laundry is done. Sure, our ancesors had to settle for such vague technology, but this is the 21st century, f'God's sake. Let's have doorbells that say "Someone's at the door." (They wouldn't be "bells"---that's the whole idea---so we'd have to think of a new word. Any ideas?)
Ander, Sep 17 2003

Och, mon, there's someone at the door! http://www.deger.de/andro.wav
[DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

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       I would have voted for this idea had it been “trombone plays when laundry is done.”
AO, Sep 17 2003
  

       Ringing bells or chimes are very positive, Feng Shui-wise - they frighten away evil spirits, making them most appropriate for front doors.   

       If you want 21st century, get one of those door monitors that not only announces visitors with a pleasant Star Trek chime, but shows you who is waiting and allows you to speak with them and open the door remotely. So I would call this one Readily Available, even if it's not Widely Baked.   

       Oops - gotta go, someone just rang the bagpipes!
DrCurry, Sep 17 2003
  

       //When the mail arrives, do you hear bagpipes?//   

       Only when they've sent the wrong thing again.
PeterSilly, Sep 17 2003
  

       Car horns, instead of going beep, should yell, “Out of my way!”
AO, Sep 17 2003
  

       Why does it have to make noise at all? Perhaps a spinning, strobing laser in each room. Or fog. A fog generator would work nicely. You could have a different color for when the phone rings (sorry, when the phone fogs) or when you get mail. "Honey, is that the doorfog?"
Worldgineer, Sep 17 2003
  

       There’s no reason why the fog should have to be visible. After all, our eyes are sensitive to a fairly limited spectrum of light. On the other hand, our sense of smell can detect thousands, if not millions of unique scents, so the smell of chicken roasting, for instance, could signal someone at the door.
AO, Sep 17 2003
  

       Or it could signal roasting chicken. Perhaps a hybrid chicken-roaster and doorsmell?
Worldgineer, Sep 17 2003
  

       Is there no way chicken scented fog could be emitted from a trombone?
bungston, Sep 17 2003
  

       Surely someone pressing the doorbell is a visitor, not an intruder?
DrCurry, Sep 17 2003
  

       I'm with bungston on this one; I want chicken scented fog emitted from a trombone ! Though I might settle for a trombone playing when the laundry is done ...
stig, Sep 17 2003
  

       I don't know - I tried this, and the trombone wasn't really the same after the spin cycle, and fogging the chicken was harder than you might think.
Detly, Sep 17 2003
  

       Actually, ever since they started showing the original Dr. Who series again, I've had that theme song stuck in my head. At the risk of this turning into a list, I'd suggest the doorbell play that, and fade out when you open the door (or after a fixed time).
Detly, Sep 17 2003
  

       So, maybe the Dr. Who theme, played on a trombone by a chicken?
Cedar Park, Sep 18 2003
  

       Person (pushing doorbell): *Ding dong!...I'm gonna fuckin' kill who's ever out there!*   

       (10 seconds later)   

       Homeowner (opening front door): "Huh. No one here, again."
sartep, Sep 18 2003
  

       "Please let me in!", cried the big bad wolf. Not by the hair of my chinny, chin-chin!
anonymous_coward, Sep 18 2003
  

       "Nobody here but us chickens".
egbert, Sep 18 2003
  

       I'd lean toward something with lips. Bullfrogs might work nicely.
Worldgineer, Sep 18 2003
  

       ringtones that go "Answer the Friggin' Phone Already!!"
Cactusbutt, Sep 18 2003
  

       //I'd lean toward something with lips//   

       Somehow I find this sentance disturbing.   

       A friend of mine had a doorbell that *said* "Ding dong ding dong" instead of actually ringing. It was really annoying. But not as annoying as the claxon horn that the caretaker has recently installed in the offices at work. Everytime someone "rings" it everyone in here jumps visibly, clutches at their chest then we all curse quietly for a bit.   

       [DrCurry] How evil can an evil spirit be that's scared of doorbells and windchimes? PPfff!
squeak, Sep 19 2003
  

       //Answer the Friggin' Phone//   

       That would be an interesting way for your phone to signal in incoming call.
AO, Sep 19 2003
  

       I want to give [AO] a bun for his trombone laundry alarm, as well as a biscuit to [Worldgineer] for the doorfog, but they don't let you do that here. Sorry!   

       Anywho, there's no reason to assume that a dull electronic voice coming from somewhere in your house won't give you the major jeebies everytime someone comes to the door. And while roasting chicken is a good smell, it would certainly not be useful when you are serving roasted chicken AND expecting company. I think [Ander] is close to something useful, but I don't think he pegged it.
k_sra, Sep 19 2003
  

       There was this old Australian, er... comedy... that I won't name, but in it, the father decides to get a doorbell. But rather than the usual "*ding dong*", he got his son's friend to install something a little different. And then suffered a minor stroke each time the doorfoghorn was rung. I don't know why I brought that up, I didn't even remember that show until now.
Detly, Sep 21 2003
  

       ////I'd lean toward something with lips//   

       Somehow I find this sentance disturbing. //   

       I'd lean toward someone with lips... unless someone was part of the door-indicator, in which case they would be too busy trying to blow a chicken all the way through a trombone.
ye_river_xiv, Sep 15 2006
  

       Maybe I should remove the doorbell button, and just leave a chicken and an oven by the front door, or a block of dry ice and a bucket of warm water. My visitors will figure it out, I'm sure.
wiml, Sep 16 2006
  

       Thanks. As I scatter from the rays of the rising sun.   

       Even your car tire has a soul to bear.
Zimmy, Sep 16 2006
  

       Good churn, [ye]. This was a fun one.   

       [k], If you're serving chicken, just put something other than chicken in your doorsmell.
Worldgineer, Sep 19 2006
  
      
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