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Non-Returnobed

For those lacking in get-up-and-go.
 
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Do you do this? Turn off alarm clock, go back to sleep.

OR,

Get up, make coffee, go back to bed, go back to sleep.

OR,

Get up, go in bathroom to have a shower, get depressed by early hour, go back to bed, go back to sleep.

If so, then the Non-Returnobed is for you!!!

No more lame excuses for lateness, no more missed appointments, no more dashing around the flat/house in mad lateness panic, no more running for and missing the bus.

Non-Returnobed has pressure sensors that can tell when the bed has been vacated. A vacuum now extracts all air from the specially adapted bed cover (included in price), plastering it to the bed, preventing anyone from getting back in and making it pretty uncomfortable to lie on.

To ensure that you are not left shivering on the sofa after answering a nocturnal call of nature, the bed has a built in alarm clock that can be set for any time.The non-returno function will only activate after the alarm has gone off. The alarm will sound with increasing volume every 5 minutes until the bed is vacated and then the vacuum will kick in and the alarm will cut out.

After an hour or so, the vacuum will automatically switch off, by which time you will, hopefully, have left the house.

It can, of course, be switched off for Sundays etc. but when you just know that willpower alone is not enough to get you out of your pit....

Choose Non-Returnobed!!

squeak, Jan 24 2003

Smart, Nasty Alarm Clock http://www.halfbake...sty_20alarm_20clock
by stupop. My favourite solution to this problem. [my face your, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       [yamahito] Read passage beginning "To ensure that you...."   

       I also thought of this as I have a thimble sized bladder.
squeak, Jan 24 2003
  

       was that there the first time?
yamahito, Jan 24 2003
  

       yep
squeak, Jan 24 2003
  

       I don't understand how this vacuum cover thing prevents you from going back to bed.
snarfyguy, Jan 24 2003
  

       I need this thing, please build it for me.
krelnik, Jan 24 2003
  

       As someone who can never wake up in the morning, I have to say... PLEASE don't make it any more painful than it is! No amount of loud noises, vaccum sealed beds, or strangulation and suffocation by attacking mechanical objects is going to make it any better. The object is not to be wide eyed and awake when the alarm goes off. Its to get out the door clean, fed, and preferably wearing pants.   

       Since I happen to be commenting and there is no "about", would someone care to tell me where on Earth this web site came from? Except for the regular commentors there seems to be nothing that is familiar here. Its like I'm talking into an abyss.
ChinnoDog, Jan 24 2003
  

       My idea for this concept would be to use a Select Comfort(R) brand air bed, put all sorts of annoying lumpy things under the matteress, and wire the controls to deflate the bed at the proper time.
supercat, Jan 24 2003
  

       <off topic> welcome chinnodog, if you want to know stuff about the .5bakery look in the meta help or about failing that the halfbakery catergory </off topic>   

       Squeak i sometimes set my alarm so that i get woken up early on a saturday or duuring holidays purely so that i can get up have a coffee and go back to bed, or just roll over. Add a holiday option to your idea and i still wouldn't want opne but it might be more usable.
engineer1, Mar 05 2004
  
      
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