Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Nose-hair Alarm Clock

You'll certainly be alarmed.
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Does your alarm clock lack the punch needed to get you moving in the morning? Try the Nose-hair Alarm Clock.

First, mount it to the wall opposite the foot of your bed, and set it as you would a normal alarm clock. Then you will see why this is no ordinary alarm clock. This clock features two nose-hair clips, tethered with fine wires to a spring-loaded winch. At night, pull on the clips to extend the wires until they reach the pillow, then climb into bed and attatch the clips to your nose hairs. You can then sleep peacfully, knowing that you can rely on your nose-hair alarm clock to wake you on time. When the alarm goes off, the winch will be allowed to recoil, giving you an exhilarating wake-up that will help you to start off a productive day.

We're confident that you'll be fully satisfied with our product. Consider this comment from a member of our test group:

"AGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!"

We also offer our night time scream-muffling mask as an added bonus!

whippinggas, Apr 10 2005

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       When I first saw the title, I thought that it was an alarm that went off (every few months) to let you know it is time to trim your nose hairs again. Kind of like those 'change your oil' lights that some cars have.   

       This one is more advanced: it actually plucks the hairs for you and wakes you up at the same time!
newt, Apr 11 2005
  

       Because many of us keep that zone fashionably barbered, [UnaBubba], and this would make for regularly oversleeping, though possibly some interesting dreams.
normzone, Aug 30 2008
  
      
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