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AP NEWS: Due to the need for cutbacks following a of a drop in the birthrate in Western Nations because of the ongoing economic disaster, disgruntled out-of-work elves have taken to camping out at the North Pole, blocking the sleigh's main airstrip.
Most of them seem to be blaming the fat cat at
the top. Our W.R.A.Y. on-scene reporter has captured some opinions of the ONPers.
"He's the 0.0001%! He sits around and eats all day while we slave away cleaning up reindeer piles or making toys for brats that he takes all the credit for! Yeah, I'd be jolly too if I had HIS job!"
"I've been hammering nails into wooden blocks for a thousand years! We want change, and we want it NOW!"
"I want a thousand years of back pay! And some real health insurance! Do they have any idea what that dentist Hermey charges anymore?"
"Belief in Santa raises childhood obesity!"
The only comment offered by Saint Nicholas was "Ho! Ho! Ho! There may be a coal shortage next year!"
Waiting for Santy
SJ Perelman did this, as a parody of "Waiting for Lefty" [mouseposture, Dec 16 2011]
Coal too passe... try pepper spray.
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 16 2011]
||"Turn the fire hoses on them !"
||+ cute! (you've been cutback to an unfrosted bun)
||I arrived bun-in-hand, expecting some ingenious scheme to
deport all Occupy activists to the Arctic, but this is pretty
good, too. [+]
||Elf Security teams are tearing down encampments. Meanwhile, organizers are encouraging the protestors to relocate to the Isle of Misfit Toys.