h a l f b a k e r y
"My only concern is that it wouldn't work, which I see as a problem."
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I had a cunning plan for a range of frozen
meals made with various bits of offal and
tripe. I was initially inspired when walking
around the office zombie-like muttering
"Brains! Braaaaiiins!" (as one does), which
led to the idea of a ready-meal with
brains. The idea gained momentum:
glands, stomach, eyes etc could
all form the basis for a range of ready-
Apparently all of these sweetbreads
(growing up I never understood why they
were sweetbreads and sweet treats were
sweetmeats) are tasty and nutritious, and
they are certainly cheap. As people move
back toward eating 'real' food, and these
items become increasingly popular again,
the mnarket will boom! I am particularly
confident of their reception among kids.
I even have an ad campaign for the brains
one: a group of zombies staggering
around (surprise surprise) groaning for
fresh brains, with a voiceover: "Hungry for
tasty, tasty brains? Try a new Mansell Meal
with brains! They're offal-ly good!" Other
slogans could include "Have you got the
stomach for a Mansell Meal? (intestines
version)"; "Triple your taste with Tripe!"; "A
meal you can look in the eye!"; and "Be
Glad wth Glands!". Any other suggestions
Al Barkat Exports
"We aim to provide our customers a whole new experience in meat consumption."
Yeah, I bet you do.
"Dry Trachea, Tendons, Nose Bone, Tripe, Penis" [angel, Nov 16 2006, last modified Mar 25 2013]
Tripe in a jar
They also sell pork head, meat with lard, soya chops and dumplings with strawberries. No, I don't know why, except that they're Polish. [angel, Nov 16 2006]
the most popular products in the Southern US are the smaller cans labeled "Potted Meat" [Alysonwonderland, Nov 17 2006]
More (and worse) potted meat
There is not enough eeeww in the world. [angel, Nov 18 2006]
Seriously, though: gross. Funny gross, but still gross.
||I dunno why everyone makes such a fuss about offal. Never had steak and kidney pie? Delicious. Offal is yummy.
||Except for lungs. Don't even TALK to me about lungs.
||<edit: insert sarcastic tone> especially if the person smoked, i mean
ewwwww!!! tastes like tar.. </sarcasm>
||[angel] thanks for the absolutely disgusting yet hilarious links. Mmm...dry trachea. Just goes to show that reality is often weirder than one can imagine.
||[bleh] they wouldn't be people's lungs (or any other body parts); but from more traditional eating animals like, sheep, cows, pigs, goats, giraffes, and yaks etc.
||However, good idea! "Lovely, lovely lungs! (or luscious?) So light and airy!"
||your turning human waste into Goulash, you may want to seek help for that, I could sell you a Tie-died straightjacket =)
||in the US they have this product known as "Potted Meat". It has a "pop top" lid and you just use your knife to spread out the "innard" goodness onto your white bread. Most US southerner's put a big slice of salted tomato on it too.
||Tripe is a delicacy in Portugal. I think this could really work there. It's not for me to decide whether someone should eat a cows stomach, after all. Just don't invite me to dinner. Unless you want human vomit for dessert.