There are, it seems, some lonely old people, who are socially
excluded, and younger people take minimal interest in them.
sounds great to me. I actually look forward to a bit of peaceful
exclusion by young people, followed by a nice long peaceful spell
death. But Im married with
kids) Anyway this holiday/ retreat
period that I look forward to doesnt seem to suit everyone. It has
been repackaged as loneliness, A BAD THING. Apparently its BAD
ENOUGH to need a loneliness minister here in the uk.
It is sad but makes evolutionary sense why old ladies are cold-
shouldered by younger society. Their eggs are poached, and in this
world the reproductive drive is (or so biologists say) the hidden
engine of glamour and influence. Older ladies are a Hotel
for sperm, and genes mustve worked that out. It is a pretty
rule, but no one ever said natural selection had to be deep, and I
guess it works. It decrees tight, plump skin, worth a s**g, but
sagging, folded skin: young man, dont waste your sperm!
Old men, well, this is less clear cut, since they are meant to be
reproductively viable. (There is apparently a frog whose mating
improves linearly with age, and he becomes ever more desirable,
to death, which makes evolutionary sense, as his genes could be
pretty good to have got him to the age he is.) But maybe it
work so well for the average human male? ( excluding the rich and
famous.) Mick Jagger looks like a frog, though Im not sure he
better with age. Certainly he gets the attention of some young
ladies, despite a certain ruggedness of face. Maybe there is
something, acting like a soft focus lens, interposed between mick
jaggers face, and the young ladies in question. Is it charisma,
reputation, money? Whatever it is, it makes for love, which they
Interpose between someones face and.. hmm.. Thanks to the
coming social revolution which is called augmented reality old
ladies dont need to be left out in the cold any more, desexed,
ignored, rejected - because Old ladies dont need to LOOK like old
ladies any more. Luckily the reproductive drive is easily subverted
technology, its simple rules bypassed, by technical fakery. (Take
porn. Any porn. Genes ought to say, young man, dont waste your
sperm! But they havent caught up yet - maybe they will one day.
So, lets cut to the chase, you are in a newfangled night club.
Everyone wearing AR headsets of course. Permanently. The first
of nightclub is, dont take off your headset. The second rule of
nightclub is.. PLEASE DONT TAKE OFF YOUR HEADSET.
You may be a young man/ old man. You may be a young woman/
woman. SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF IS YOUR RIGHT AND YOUR
PRIVILEGE. (We suggest you maintain it)
You, nondescript young man, will not go home alone, thats for
Maybe, on the way out, one of your mates will nudge you and say,
good luck with that one. I hope she doesnt s**t in your bed.
he on about? Did he glimpse under his headset?) But that kind of
comment is what mates are for when you go to night clubs.
And the next day, you will wake early, take a sickly look around,
be out the residential home in a flash, half-dressed. But thats
young men do. Yes, this story is like Cinderella, only here
is the pumpkin.
Or maybe - just maybe, you wake up with the headset still on, and
you have a nice chat, about how modern life is rubbish and decide
get married. And your mum and dad will come to the wedding
wearing AR headsets too. And not give you a hard time, or even
And there will be no more need for a loneliness minister,
Ps There will probably have to be tactile additions to the elderly,
make this reality fully realisable. ie. body enhancement suits,
(basically add-on latex tits and ass). (Please come to my website
place your order. No concessions for OAPs)