Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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One Pound Omelette

  (+10, -1)(+10, -1)
(+10, -1)
  [vote for,

Insert a coin into the vending machine. In turn,a five star pianist will whip you up a omelette by thrashing the keys and pedals of a grand piano whilst tossing assortments of mushrooms, cheese and the like under the piano's hood.

Concealed behind the machine, the piano churns with such a turbulent pianistic force of the Hammerklavier that the internal beaters frenziedly whip the mix into a omelette.The faster the pianist plays the hotter the mixing compartment becomes.

After a few minutes the keys wind down.The finale kicks into place.

The omelette now beaten and cooked is delivered through the vending machine's chute.

skinflaps, Apr 02 2006


       Eaten with chopsticks?
Dub, Apr 02 2006

       I'll Bach (sorry) anything that makes an omelette [+] Would also like to see what would happen if a minimalist piece was played.... contemplates lake of gently bubbling egg yellow with a single perfect mushroom slice delicately balanced on one corner like a little edible ballerina.... drifts off into blissful, omelette music inspired oblivion.
xenzag, Apr 02 2006

       ..and Chopin.
skinflaps, Apr 02 2006

       You can't break some eggs without making an ömelette.
Ian Tindale, Apr 02 2006

       this pianist, does he sit behind a glass window like the laughing poiceman?
po, Apr 02 2006

       Aye. Say a pianist in the room will counter that awful sucking sound of soda drinking, food processor, commode flush, draining, and gustation; and, leave you listening to only the door chime, chairs in motion, rattle of utensils, and occasional laugh??   

       "Sounds" to me like this is just the ticket.
reensure, Apr 02 2006

       I love the idea but there's no way this would only cost a pound.
Mr Phase, Apr 02 2006

       A very eggs-cellent idea mr flaps.
DrBob, Apr 03 2006

       can we include a guitar solo by Eric Cracktem?
Dub, Apr 03 2006

       //no way this would only cost a pound.//   

       maybe that's the weight :)
skinflaps, Apr 03 2006

       Must be very old, if it dates back to then.
Ian Tindale, Apr 03 2006

       Did you say "pianist", or was that a typo while you were taking dictation?
neuro, Apr 04 2006

       And to follow, a Cakewalk for dessert.
egbert, Apr 04 2006

       [xenxag]: Further proof that minimalism and E. coli go hand-in-hand.
shapu, Apr 04 2006


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