h a l f b a k e r y
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To construct the Oppenheim's Nikonic
Sidebang you need to have the following
items: a Nikon Camera; a head covered
with long hair, preferably blond; a set of
small, precision instruments; a supply of
epoxy resin; an optivisor, or similar
Each day you must pluck from
one hundred long hairs. You must then
corresponding number of tiny shallow
holes in the body of the NIkon camera.
Into each of these holes, you must place
single hair, followed by a microscopic
of resin glue to secure its anchorage.
Over time, apart from the lens, your
will acquire more and more hair until it is
totally covered. It will of course remain
fully useable, but you will have to
carefully part the hair in order to gain
access to the various controls.
When not in use, you can style the hair
and pose it in various guises, including
Sidebang, so famously characteristic of
If you are particularly frustrated, you can
also tear at it, or shave it all off, leaving
your camera with a fuzzy beard. Should
decide to give up photography and
surrender yourself to a religious order,
your Nikon can reflect your new found
beliefs by taking on a monkish Tonsure.
see links for references
Object (Le Dejeuner en fourrure). This is the only object I would save, if the world was about to explode, and I was able to escape - an unlikely scenario, but it's always best to be prepared. [xenzag, Aug 09 2007, last modified Aug 10 2007]
a perfect example of the Sidebang hairstyle [xenzag, Aug 09 2007]
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||I was expecting a radical new kind of punctuation.
||Oh, and [jutta], the Oppenheim object has very clear (and artist-admitted, I believe) sexual connotations, so with the given title, the punctuation mark would have to be furry and suggestive.
||And it would need to reference iconically perhaps the Greek God of athletic shoes, or whatever Nike was.
||This is one complex sidebang. Where will its use be appropriate I wonder?
||Why just Nikons? Why not Voigtlanders?