Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pirate Pilots

Hire Pirates to fly commercial airliners.
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
(+9, -1)
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Commercial Airliners should hire Pirates to fly their planes. Security would no longer be an issue, because no one messes with Pirates.

Also the messages heard overhead upon departure, during times of turbulence, and upon landing, would be awesome.

I can hear it now. Parrot coos in the background, optional.

blissmiss, Jul 17 2014

Would you purchase your ticket in this manner? Multilevel_20Marketing_20Piracy
[normzone, Jul 17 2014]

Wikipedia: Boeing YAL-1, Airborne Laser http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_YAL-1
[Mindey, Jul 20 2014]

[link]






       The gales be bellowin like the whores tha dropped ye! Ifin ye can reason some notion fer not endin yer miserable lives, I'll advise, ye best be tied in. And be any inclined to churn their bellies, be warned, I'll render ye in twain me-self. Be no sense in cleanin a mess ifin there aint a bit o fun in it! Arrrgh!!
LimpNotes, Jul 17 2014
  

       In the stack, on spotting an aeroplane belonging to a rival carrier: “Tis the enemy abaft the beam! Shall we ram er, Mister Pugh, or shall we open thar atches and drop thar steerage passengers' trunks on em from aloft?” “Naw Mister Riley, us'n dun want to risk ur precious cargo, us'll get a rare price for all they lubbers at slave-market. And thers no trunks left, ye dumped the lot o em over Stanstead.”
pocmloc, Jul 17 2014
  

       I think we can expect to hear from a pirate soon, complaining about the misrendering of their traditional language (Somali, I believe).
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 17 2014
  

       Unlucky day to be posting an airliner idea...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 17 2014
  

       As long as the stewardess doesn't ask you to walk the plank instead of saying bye bye, bye bye, bye....   

       I would get the pilot without an eye and with a hook. Glad this isn't about helicopter pilots, who need all four limbs to fly.
popbottle, Jul 17 2014
  

       Arrrrrrrrrr ! [+]   

       // helicopter pilots, who need all four limbs to fly //   

       We thought the primary requirement was a helicopter ... you mean they've just been fooling everyone all these years ?
8th of 7, Jul 18 2014
  

       Should I delete this, given the circumstances of the day, that I innocently had not heard of yet, of course.
blissmiss, Jul 18 2014
  

       I say keep it. Why should a loss of innocents require a loss from innocents? Mourn the injustice, mourn the loss, but don't seek to balance the scales with more senseless destruction.
LimpNotes, Jul 18 2014
  

       + even in face of tragedy, this post was from an honest heart! I also suggest the (female) attendants dress accordingly with lots of cleavage and flouncy dresses!
xandram, Jul 18 2014
  

       // Should I delete this //   

       Absolutely not. It's just the long, hairy, dirty- fingernailed arm of coincidence at work.
8th of 7, Jul 18 2014
  

       Keep. I seem to be in a timezone that gets the news first.
not_morrison_rm, Jul 18 2014
  

       Now I feel like keeping, in memory of.
blissmiss, Jul 18 2014
  

       Arrr+
DenholmRicshaw, Jul 18 2014
  

       So, would the airships have laser gun, like Boeing YAL-1? (link)
Mindey, Jul 20 2014
  

       No, Pirates use swords. Not much help sometimes. Could toss a parrot or two at their enemies. That might work.
blissmiss, Jul 20 2014
  

       Of course not - broadside-mounted 12-pdr muzzle loading cannon would be the things to use.
8th of 7, Jul 20 2014
  

       Hmm. yes sir, you are most correct. That would be better. And you could use the parrots as ammo. Uh oh, feathers everywhere. Boom!
blissmiss, Jul 20 2014
  

       And grappling hooks! Prepare to board the enemy vessel!
pocmloc, Jul 20 2014
  

       You know, when I saw the title I was kind of expecting something about illegal copies of the first episode of Serenity (or what have you).   

       Wrong kind of pilot, obviously.   

       Still, gotta say, like it [+].   

       Might not the airlines in question find it a bit difficult finding willing insurance providers though?   

       //grappling hooks! Prepare to board the enemy vessel!//   

       Is it just me, or does anyone else have visions from the supporting feature (of 'The Meaning of Life')?
Skewed, Jul 20 2014
  
      
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