Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pissing Contest

Let's formalise some rules for these things
 
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You know how it happens; you're arguing with someone over the capabilities of iPhone vs Android and it becomes a stalemate.

That's the point at which you whip out the Rules Of Pissing Contests and find a suitable wall to start the party.

Everything is explained in the book.

UnaBubba, Feb 14 2013

The opposite: Pissing co-operation. https://www.youtube...outube_gdata_player
[Ling, Feb 14 2013]

Helen Chadwick's Piss Flowers http://fineart.ac.u....php?imageid=bt0005
Now that's what I call an original and inventive idea involving urination. [xenzag, Feb 17 2013]

For writing-in-the-snow envy. http://pi.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/snow.html
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 18 2013]

[link]






       Right now there is a pack of coyotes up on the mountain behind my house, yipping, yelping, yowling, and terrorizing small furry things that go "eep!"   

       If I open my window and listen to them, it will only be a couple of minutes before I hear a fight break out. Somebody will step on somebody else's tail and suddenly the whole pack will be, if you'll pardon the expression, going at it tooth and nail. The squabbling is quick and bloody and no holds are barred, and then suddenly everyone's differences are resolved and the whole lot of them go right back to making everyone else miserable.   

       Sometimes I envy them...
Alterother, Feb 14 2013
  

       Yep. Kinda the point I'm making.
UnaBubba, Feb 14 2013
  

       I'm disappointed. I thought we were all going to meet up and have a literal pissing contest.
DIYMatt, Feb 14 2013
  

       See you there.
UnaBubba, Feb 14 2013
  

       More than I want to see.
AusCan531, Feb 14 2013
  

       Write your name on the wall. It will be dry tomorrow.
UnaBubba, Feb 14 2013
  

       Ur ine trouble now, mate.
AusCan531, Feb 14 2013
  

       Can the contestants be known as Bladdiators?   

       Most definitely, [2fries].
UnaBubba, Feb 14 2013
  

       if you lost, you'd be pissed off, right?
bs0u0155, Feb 14 2013
  

       Yeah, but then we'd all fuck off up the pub and get pissed.
Alterother, Feb 14 2013
  

       Yeah, strange that, seeing as how usually it's the women that tend to clump together more.
RayfordSteele, Feb 14 2013
  

       Yeah, but we can't write our name in the snow...
xandram, Feb 14 2013
  

       Certain types of combat (such as brawling, arm wrestling, and Call of Duty 3) are play activity for men, just as some of our favorite sports (American football, hockey, rugby) are combative in nature. We are a predator species, and it's written in our DNA that we must establish and defend our territories and hunt and kill our prey. For lesser predators, playfighting is a learning activity employed by the young to hone skills they will use as adults. Our species has mostly outgrown the need to engage in combat on a daily basis, but the instinct remains, and the playfighting continues as an outlet for that aggressive instinct and as a subtle means to establish circumstantial dominance. Even when I embrace my closest male friends, the hug is sudden and firm and we clap each other hard on the shoulder. It serves to remind us, on the primal level, that we may be emotionally bonded but we would still tear each other to pieces if the need arose.
Alterother, Feb 14 2013
  

       With respect, [Alter], you're supposed to piss up the wall, not in our pockets.
UnaBubba, Feb 14 2013
  

       Oh, piss off.
Alterother, Feb 15 2013
  

       Done.
UnaBubba, Feb 15 2013
  

       Shirley urearen't taking me seriously.
Alterother, Feb 15 2013
  

       Rule #5: Thou shalt not mix piss with vinegar.
Canuck, Feb 16 2013
  

       <obligatory>   

       Rule 2: you do NOT talk about Piss Club!   

       <\ob.>
Alterother, Feb 16 2013
  

       I don't think I'd want to talk about Piss Club.
DIYMatt, Feb 16 2013
  

       [marked-for-deletion] call for a list.
FlyingToaster, Feb 16 2013
  

       //Yeah, but we can't write our name in the snow...//   

       How about a dot-matrix urine snow-printer? It would consist of a gyroscopic direction detector, some processing power, and pair of silicone- coated steel fingers. The device is attached to the penis, with the steel fingers above and below the organ.   

       The wearer would then simply wave it in a raster pattern, and the fingers would automatically clamp and unclamp rapidly to generate a perfect image.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 17 2013
  

       (T-shirt I'd like to commission)   

       I P IPA
normzone, Feb 18 2013
  

       //I P IPA//   

       ??? [normzone]?
UnaBubba, Feb 18 2013
  

       Indian Pale Ale?   

       Edit: India Pale Ale.
Ling, Feb 18 2013
  

       [Ling]'s got it right...
normzone, Feb 18 2013
  

       Curry slurry.
UnaBubba, Feb 19 2013
  

       ...says the man whose nation prides itself on canoe sex beer produced in massive quantities.
Alterother, Feb 19 2013
  

       No, because it's fucking close to water.
Alterother, Feb 19 2013
  

       It's not original; I got it from one of the Pythons. Michael Palin, I think? Anyway, in my family 'canoe sex' has become a catch-all reference to megabrew American lager and all beer from Mexico and Australia.
Alterother, Feb 19 2013
  
      
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