Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Popcorn Hat

  (+9, -4)
(+9, -4)
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I have recently (and for the first time in some while) been to the Cinema. Here I was amazed and horrified by the prices of popcorn, and by the fact that you are not allowed to bring your own food.

"Enough!" I cried, in moral indignation "This is an outrage sir!" "What?" said the popcorn vendor. To this I had no immediate reply.

So.

MaxCo. is pleased to announce the development of the MaxCo. Personal Popcorn Hat.

Designed to look like a perfectly ordinary fez, the PPH conceals, in its crown, a small but powerful heating element and a reservoir which may be pre-loaded with a small amount of oil and a cupfull of unpopped popcorn.

Once the lights go down, simply activate the PPH by pulling the tassle, and remain (this is really quite important) very very still. The rest is obvious. Catchers' mitts are included.

The PPH is best activated precisely 3 minutes before any scene involving intense gunfire.

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2010

Grill_20Hat similar [xenzag, Feb 20 2010]

Soundproofing kit fitted http://www.allartpa...0.image.340x441.jpg
Pop art. [MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 20 2010]

[link]






       That would just be silly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2010
  

       Alternatively (and much quieter and less likely to start a theater conflagration), you could ditch the heating elements, oil and unpopped popcorn, and instead fashion a stylish tophat entirely from sticky caramelized popcorn. No muss, no fuss, and it makes the phrase "I'll eat my hat!" an experience entirely worth anticipating. Also brings new meaning to "Pass the hat".
jurist, Feb 19 2010
  

       If you folk are not going to take this seriously, then neither am I.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2010
  

       //perfectly ordinary fez//   

       Just like that! <croissant appears>
Jinbish, Feb 19 2010
  

       It was a magic fez. You just witnessed the famous disappearing croissant trick.
jurist, Feb 19 2010
  

       Is it soundproof? Won't the sound of popcorn popping annoy the other theatergoers?
mouseposture, Feb 19 2010
  

       Spoon. Jar.
Jar. Spoon.
SpoonJar-JarSpoon
{search for "Tommy Cooper", Jar, Spoon; note headwear. Croissant}
Jinbish, Feb 19 2010
  

       This is flipping bakery brilliance. Well done. +
blissmiss, Feb 19 2010
  

       //Is it soundproof?//   

       We have spent literally some money on trying to develop silent popcorn. We did succeed, but the result, although silent, was in fact just corn.   

       We do market a soundproofing kit, but this makes the PPH rather bulky (see link).   

       For now, we recommend timing your popping pleasure to coincide with the louder parts of the film.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 20 2010
  

       Silent popcorn is easy. It's silent *corn popping* that poses the difficulty.   

       (Good link. I tried googling "soundproof fez" & got nothing.)
mouseposture, Feb 20 2010
  

       Thermite. There should be thermite. Then again, thermite in a felt hat is probably non-optimal from a survivability viewpoint.   

       But the popcorn would definitely be fresh, and hot.   

       Perhaps this would work best with a two-for-one cinema ticket offer, where you watched the movie and ate your popcorn and left promptly before the lights went up the staff noticed that your companion's skull (or, strictly speaking, the remains thereof) was full of molten iron ? Probably not good on a first date.
8th of 7, Feb 20 2010
  
      
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