Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Porchullis

A large, three sided array of metal bars that can be raised or lowered.
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Hank sat on the porch quietly drawing pulls from his bottle of moonshine, and talking with Obadaiah.

"Yup, I gots me one of them new Porchullis thingies."

"So that's what this here winch is doing under the table."

"Maybel? she ain't no wench! that's my sister, just had a little too much to drink."

"No, I meant this here wheel with the chains on it."

"Oh, that, yep. Part of the porchullus. Pull out that peg, and lemme show ya how it works."

Obadiah faithfully pulled the peg out, and the winch began spinning wildy, letting out chain, as a cage of spiked metal came crashing down around the three outer sides of the porch. Hank had carefully used bailing wire to attach plastic screen material to the bars.

"Keeps out the flies pretty good too."

"Mmm. But Mabel's gonna be mighty angry when she comes to and finds that spike goin' through her leg."

"Shucks! Not again!"

ye_river_xiv, Dec 17 2006

Goes great with security decking Security_20Decking
Because a bakerperson's home is his or her castle. [ye_river_xiv, Dec 21 2006]

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       You have your first sale.   

       Now...about the moat...   

       Good name for a cat. "Porchticulus... Here, Porch..."
imaginality, Dec 17 2006
  

       Surely "Porchcullis", as in "portcullis".
Texticle, Dec 17 2006
  

       Ah yes. Maybe I can blame my castle-free American spelling for the error. No doubt the fishbones are for bad spelling of a made up word, or because of poor Mabel. Perhaps porchullis has a better ring. Well, either way, I'll edit out all my references to "Porchticulis" for clarity... though I guess it does make a good name for a cat.
ye_river_xiv, Dec 18 2006
  

       Ummm....what's the invention? Portcullises (portcullisi?) are historically very widely known to exist.
hidden truths, Dec 18 2006
  

       Hillbillies need cool names too.   

       [hidden truths} the Porchullis differs from the portcullis in that it has three sides, and is designed to totally surround a porch, rather than simply blocking a passageway. Also, the porchullis, unlike the portcullis is equipped with screening, or mosquito netting to keep out insects, as well as pillagers.
ye_river_xiv, Dec 19 2006
  

       dagnabit! The Hatfields and McCoys would have been great beta testers for this product!! ;-D
Alysonwonderland, Dec 20 2006
  
      
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