Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pregnancy Rescue Kit

For the befuddled, nauseated and knackered
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A simple kit, available at all good retailers (near the door and brightly displayed for ease of finding) containing: a little teacup, peppermint tea bags, a chunk of root ginger, small grater, tea strainer, banana, bottle of ribena, polo mints, tissues, a small inflatable pillow suitable for use on a desk, mascara and ginger biscuits. Plus a pager which sends fake emergency messages, allowing you to dash off and have a snooze every so often.
spinglespangle, Mar 01 2006

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       When I used to go out to demo software to clients we'd check that - "Got the laptop?" - "Check" - "Got the disks?" - "Check" - "Got the backup disks?" - "Check" - "Got the paperwork?" - "Check" - "Got the arse/elbow differentiator?" - "Check".
hippo, Mar 01 2006
  

       what no orange flavoured ice-lolly?
po, Mar 01 2006
  

       //what no orange flavoured ice-lolly// Beetroot, shirley?
coprocephalous, Mar 01 2006
  

       Beat rooting is what got them in trouble in the first place....
ConsulFlaminicus, Mar 01 2006
  

       The problem is that every woman seems to get different cravings. I like [boysparks] solution. Is it "boy sparks" or "boy's parks" anyway?
wagster, Mar 01 2006
  

       cute idea, but you'll need another kind of kit after the pregnancy is over.......you will be much more befuddled than ever before.
xandram, Mar 01 2006
  

       I don't know why, but this lead me to thinking about Star-Trek and pregnancy.
"Beam it out Scotty"
"Aye cannae get a lock, cap'n!"
zen_tom, Mar 01 2006
  

       [So, annotations from seven* guys and two gals: nice to see we're continuing in the Halfbaked tradition of only talking what we know! * eight now, of course.]
DrCurry, Mar 01 2006
  

       /The problem is that every woman seems to get different cravings./ This isn't really about cravings, which are very different, mostly about first trimester nausea and fatigue - so ginger and peppermint are generally thought fairly good for nausea. Maybe the bananas and Ribena are just me. I do love boysparks' comment, however, for those without such thoughtful friends, it might be worth paying the overcharge just to save standing bewildered in the middle of Tesco's, having forgot why you came in and who you are...
spinglespangle, Mar 01 2006
  

       //standing bewildered in the middle of Tesco's//I think I read somewhere that pregnancy messes with your head.
po, Mar 01 2006
  

       Messing with heads is what...oh, wait, that's been done.
egbert, Mar 01 2006
  

       and yours - obviously...
po, Mar 01 2006
  

       It should include a small bucket as well.
jellydoughnut, Mar 03 2006
  
      
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