Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Private Welcome Mat

Inspired in whole and in part by 2 Fries' annotation to the Pirate Welcome Mat post
 
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Using the latest facial recognition software, this welcome mat displays personalized messages to whomever is visiting at the time. Can also be used to recognize religious garb (ie, black trousers, white button down shirt, black name tag) and let them know before they ever knock how welcome they are.
21 Quest, Aug 31 2011

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       There's no mention of det cord, though.
8th of 7, Aug 31 2011
  

       If the mat mentioned det cord, then the visitor probably wasn't welcome. So it looks like you're on the in-list.
swimswim, Aug 31 2011
  

       What if you have more than one? I think I do.
bungston, Aug 31 2011
  

       Some impromptu experimentation with a few odds and ends has shown that it's quite possible to hand-weave det cord into a reasonable facsimile of a doormat. It's surprisingly convincing, if a little springy.
  

       The following points are worthy of note:
  

       1.There is a certain amount of dust shedding from the exposed ends.
  

       2. The assembly is probably not going to be stable for heavy traffic.
  

       3. When carrying out experimentation of this type, it is essential to secure safe working conditions, i.e. that any female Significant Other is elsewhere, particularly if (a) they know what det cord looks like, and (b) have previously been given firm assurances that such activities will not ever be undertaken in the house, ever again.
  

       4. Incomplete or evasive answers to said Significant Other tend to make things worse rather than better.
8th of 7, Aug 31 2011
  

       To make it easy to produce a low cost dual private welcome mat have the default WELCOME with an additional tactile NOT.
pashute, Sep 02 2011
  
      
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