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Progressive and Specific Away Messages

Why must you torture me this way!? Why can't you just leave me alone!?
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internetasshole936: hi

Me: I'm away from my computer right now.

internetasshole936: how abot now?

Me: Still away. I'll talk to you eventually.

internetasshole936: u bak yet?

Me: Negative on that return trajectory, Houston.

internetasshole936: waht aoubt now?

Me: Fuck off and die, you annoying prick. You fuck cows in retrospect.

Now the idea here is that as the random internet asshole (you know 'em; the people that aren't enough trouble for you to change your screen name for, but they're fucking annoying) will receive progressively more hostile away messages. You're signed on to talk to somebody else, but they're not on yet, so you're away until they sign on. But this person will not shut up!

Hence, the ability to program progressively more annoyed replies would be nice (annoyed quality optional). If you could make messages that are specific to certain buddies, all the better.

Eugene, Feb 24 2004

AIM Eliza bot http://nasledov.com/misha/elizalog/
Some of the message logs are quite entertaining. [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       cool idea i have mates who will bbl for hours
engineer1, Feb 25 2004
  

       Rather than block, how about rerouting all incoming messages from selected people to an implementation of Eliza to keep them busy? See link.
krelnik, Feb 25 2004
  

       Wouldn't this just encourage people? Surely getting the same away message over and over again is more disheartening than getting a long series of ever more inventive rude messages.
kropotkin, Feb 25 2004
  

       Yes, it might just encourage them, but it would give me some sort of satisfaction, which is what's important, isn't it? Some people will come back and IM you on a different screen name.   

       It could also be used to just amuse your friends, like most away messages are used now.
Eugene, Feb 25 2004
  

       //You fuck cows in retrospect.//   

       A fellow Sexy Losers fan, I see. ;) (Unless you're actually Hard himself...)   

       This could be implemented as a fairly simple script for certain IRC clients, but I don't know squat about IM clients.
Detly, Feb 26 2004
  

       I'm just a fan, not the great man himself. The real agony is, my computer refuses to display his comics anymore. I have to get friends to send me the latest strips.   

       I don't know squat about IRC clients. I have Chatzilla, which came with Mozilla, but I have no clue as to how one goes about accessing servers and channels.   

       I dont' know squat about IM clients either, I just use 'em. Well, AIM anyway.
Eugene, Feb 26 2004
  

       //my computer refuses to display his comics anymore//   

       What sort of Big Brother OS have *you* got?
Detly, Feb 26 2004
  

       XP. *Windows* XP. Oh, the pain, the pain...will it never end?
Eugene, Feb 26 2004
  

       I want a Mac. A G5 with 2G of RAM, an insane amount of memory, and dual 21" LCD screens and...and...a Playboy Bunny, while I'm at it. I'm just as likely to get her as any of it.   

       *retreats into bitter cycle of procrastination, masturbation, and self-loathing*
Eugene, Feb 28 2004
  

       But his OS won't let him look up porn.
Detly, Feb 29 2004
  

       Woe is me, indeed.
Eugene, Feb 29 2004
  
      
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