Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Proper Steeple-Chasing

must be powered by bell-ringers
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You'd need a gear shift, so as to switch between (a) connecting the pulley to the headstock of the bell and (b) connecting it to a massively geared-down drive-shaft, which would drive the caterpillar tracks inserted under the base of the tower.

At international competition level, you'd need to replace the late-medieval masonry with a lightweight carbon fibre shell which just *looked* like crumbly limestone cladding.

Even then, this would be one of the slower-moving of the racing sports, with great emphasis placed on not toppling over.

pertinax, Aug 18 2016

The Crimson Permanent Assurance https://youtu.be/aSO9OFJNMBA?t=103
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 18 2016]

[link]






       "Haul away, smartly now my bonny lads ! "   

       [+] for the visuals.   

       If there are crenelations around the top of the tower/base of steeple, it'd be possible to mount a few 6-pdrs, and some carronades. Luvverly.   

       Dingdongs on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow ...
8th of 7, Aug 18 2016
  

       Err...sort of done....but with accountants...The Crimson Permanent Assurance linky..
not_morrison_rm, Aug 18 2016
  

       "Err...sort of done..."   

       Yeah, I refer to that as "preheated"...
normzone, Aug 18 2016
  

       [+] Anybody else picture a bunch of steeples, flocking together once a week for a "giant robot wars" melee of ringing bells ? then heading back to their buildings, where mechanics and artisans repair and polish them for the next ?
FlyingToaster, Aug 18 2016
  

       Never quite figured out why the Church didn't rent out spire space for line-of-sight microwave transmitters....perhaps they didn't aspire to it....ha aha aha ha...<realises no one else is laughing,retreats shamefaced>
not_morrison_rm, Aug 18 2016
  

       Ah, but they do ... cellular telephony systems, too.   

       It's discreetly done; but if you know what to look for, easy to spot.   

       Don't look at the tower/spire; look for cabling, and equipment cabinets at ground level. With modern kit, and many spires having thin slate cladding on a wooden frame, it's possible to mount the antennae inside it, out of sight, without degrading performance.   

       Flagpoles are another popular disguise.   

       Floodlights are, however, camouflaged emitters for the CIA/Reader's Digest Secret Brane Ray (so make sure you wear your tinfoil balaclava)
8th of 7, Aug 18 2016
  
      
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