h a l f b a k e r y
Ambivalent? Are you sure?
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A few years ago it was en vogue to believe that pyramids
had mysterious special powers. They could sharpen razor
blades and stop fruit from going off. I've also heard that
the whole idea was a deliberate hoax but I might be
getting that mixed up with the Spider.
Anyway, I propose the following:
Make a large number of
baseless cardboard tetrahedra and sell them to three
gullible people. They then send you some of their profits
when they sell them on, each to three more people. After
twenty-one iterations of this process, everyone in the
world has a pyramid and has sent money up to the top.
Hence the pyramid scheme is tetrahedral, which is nicer
than a square pyramid, and nicely appropriate.
Everyone will be so impressed by the elegance of a pyramid
pyramid scheme that they will recognise it as a
performance art project and won't dare to sue or prosecute
John Sladek's hoax astrology book [nineteenthly, May 18 2017]
||// stop fruit from going off. // That would be useful if it were true. The number of times I've bought a guava only to have it wander away.
||You could try wrapping it in bandages, [MB].
||Don't start on the business of African swallows being non-migratory, or lifting coconuts using bits of creeper - you can get in real trouble that way ...
||You could promote the pyramids as having the special powers, then if they don't work, claim it's because they needed to be charged by placing them inside a larger magical pyramid. So you sell them the larger pyramid. Which of course needs to be placed inside an even larger magical pyramid to get it's magical powers, and so on.
||I once jokingly told someone that the pyramids had
accidentally been built upside down because the architects
had the blueprints the wrong way up. I assumed she realised
I was joking. Several years later, she berated me for
stringing her along. Astonishingly, she was actually an