Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Queuers

Doing a job that NOBODY wants
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
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against]

Christmas - don't you just love it? Battling to find a parking space, wandering around the store shoulder-to-shoulder with countless other shoppers, then queueing for half an hour before going to the next shop to start all over again...

Queuers can't eliminate all this, but they can make your day a little more productive. When you've finished browsing, hand your purchases to a Queuer who will join the line at the checkout for you. Leaving your mobile phone number, you make your way to the next store and peruse at leisure until the Queuer from the previous shop rings you to advise that they're next in line. Handing your purchases to the Queuer, you leave your mobile number and head back to the previous shop where you relieve the other Queuer of the goods and pay the cashier. If you're not sure how long you have until you're due back at the next shop you ring the Queuer there and make plans accordingly.

Queuers could either be employed by the store, or could work independently for a small fixed fee each time you use the service.

kmlabs, Dec 14 2004

A-1 Bum Rental A-1_20Bum_20Rental
WWJD? Probably pay a bum to do it. I know I would. [AfroAssault, Dec 16 2004]

[link]






       "Queueing" and "Miaouing" (or "Miaoued") are the only English words which contain 5 consecutive vowels.
hippo, Dec 14 2004
  

       Well there you go [hippo] - I've learnt something today!   

       Incidentally, thanks for the tip - I've amended my spelling to include the final 'e'...
kmlabs, Dec 14 2004
  

       Baked: boyfriends.
calum, Dec 14 2004
  

       Presumably, you only have one of those [calum]? A queuer or two might be handy for when the poor guy revolts and bolts for the pub.
DocBrown, Dec 14 2004
  

       Don't queuers have a habit of butting in?
FarmerJohn, Dec 14 2004
  

       Like a consumerist sailor, I have a boyfriend in every store, [DocBrown].
calum, Dec 14 2004
  

       Ingenious! You hoarey old sea dog. ;)
DocBrown, Dec 14 2004
  

       //the only English words which contain 5 consecutive vowels//   

       Actually, it's not an english word. When you stand in queues (as you have been doing at least since 1837, when this meaning of the word is first recorded in English), you may not realize you form a tail. The French word "queue" from which the English word is borrowed is a descendant of Latin "coda", meaning “tail”.
Pericles, Dec 14 2004
  

       Didn't this happen recently when some swanky flats were put on the market somewhere in Britain? I'm sure I read about students getting paid £50 a day to stand (or lie) in a queue so that they could put down deposits for money-rich but time-poor executives. Will try to find a linky.
salachair, Dec 14 2004
  

       [pericles], so croissant is not an english word either? I thought foreign words were allowed to be adopted.   

       The guy waited in line to add the word 'queue' to the Oxford dictionary, but he grew a tail in the boredom of waiting and gave up.   

       Interestingly, the other use of the word 'coda' is 'Repeat this section of music'.... which also gets done around stores at christmas.   

       Anyway, I'm not voting until I know my croissant is in English.
not_only_but_also, Dec 15 2004
  

       [Pericles] Yes, but if you go back far enough there are no English words - they're all taken from various old German dialects, Latin, French, Greek, Arabic (trivia: the word "kiosk" comes from the word for tent), Sanskrit, etc.
hippo, Dec 15 2004
  

       The English version of "croissant" will probably be a misspelling (in fact, isn't misspelling the source of every new language?) -- perhaps "crosan".
phundug, Dec 15 2004
  

       Quivering with querelous anticipation, the Quebec Quaker queens quorum quickly queued to question the quite quiet, queer quokka about the 'quakes in Queensland.
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 16 2004
  

       [hippo] what about Celtic?
Belfry, Dec 16 2004
  

       Yes, Belfry, you're quite right. 'Celtic' also comes from an arabic word for 'tent'.
DrBob, Dec 16 2004
  

       I'd like to stay and discuss this but I've got to que up at Macy's for the 500th pre-Holiday one day sale. Ta!
dentworth, Dec 16 2004
  

       why? is it compulsory?
po, Dec 16 2004
  

       Billiards tournament?
ConsulFlaminicus, Dec 16 2004
  

       Sorry, "Billiards tournament" doesn't come from an arabic word for "tent".
hippo, Dec 16 2004
  

       Macy's, the original *tent*.   

       my weak attempt at sarkiness,[po]. the gullible consumers,( I only know a few), are there with bells on.
dentworth, Dec 16 2004
  

       The alliteration is making my ears bleed.
shapu, Dec 16 2004
  

       The hypertext is on the wall for stores. Mene mene tekel upharsin.
wagster, Dec 16 2004
  

       does that mean" 75% off all hosiery and shoes"?
dentworth, Dec 17 2004
  

       I haven't even started on my shopping. Can I just pay the Queers to go shop for the stuff?
contracts, Dec 17 2004
  

       Personal shoppers, once upon a time I thought I would like to do that, then we moved to Northern Virginia. goor, the traffic! This time of year, the cars are lined up just trying to get into the parking lot at the shopping mall.
dentworth, Dec 17 2004
  

       Use Metro!!
contracts, Dec 17 2004
  

       Toy stores could also offer "tramplers" -- ex-[American]football players who you could hire to fight with the other parents and hopefully grab the last craze-producing doll off the shelf.
phundug, Dec 17 2004
  

       well ok [contracts], I really should use metro more, but I just avoid the place and use the internet like mr E.D.jr suggested.
dentworth, Dec 17 2004
  

       Aaaah, if it weren't for the internet there'd be clumps of my hair in all the shops I would've been christmas shopping at from my impatience/annoyance of standing in long lines with crying/screaming children and annoying yelling parents. God bless the 'Net. [no offense to any annoying yelling parents here with crying/screaming children]
Machiavelli, Dec 17 2004
  
      
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