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(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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It has recently come to my attention that several bibles
state that one isn't allowed to make graven images of
anything in the sky, in the seas or on the earth.
Setting aside the "graven" bit, this clearly imposes severe
restrictions on photography.
Fortunously, MaxCo. has the answer. Our
Camera uses advanced processing to identify the key parts
in any image - eyes, ears, grass, rocks, water, air and so
Using advanced superficial untelligence algorithms, the
software then creates twin images, each of which has
reciprocal blocks of pixels omitted to ensure that neither
image alone represents anything, graven or otherwise.
These two images are then joined side by side to produce a
single double-width image.
The Degravening Camera is supplied with a stylish pair of
Regravening Goggles, which enable the viewer to see the
twin images superimposited, creating the illusion of a
single, seamless and otherwise forbidden image.
[not_morrison_rm, Jul 27 2014]
||How can a two dimensional image be graven?
||I think the bibles are a bit lax on that one.
||Just seems to me that there are plenty of paintings of God
(and friends), so that's probably cool. But there's a reason
you never see statues of Jesus, for example. I mean,
except around the neck of every Catholic, but that
obviously doesn't count. It all makes total sense.
||Is there such a thing, other than a shadow?
||I like this idea, it's a lot easier to carry around than Rashad Alakbarov's pictures made from seemingly random bits of coloured glass, which when you shine a light through them...
||Not sure you can put graven bit aside. This idea really
only enhances the technology of 'gravening' than
bypassing it. Surely if a camera's image can be
graven, two camera's images combined can be
graven. Even though the image has been 'scrambled'
it's still essentially like cutting an image in two halves
then rejoining them. That's in terms of the amount
of visual information of each half.
||Any relation to the Basilisk stare cameras from the Laundry Files?
||Well as long as the image capture mechanism of the camera doesn't mechanically ablate material from a substrate to create each image, you should be safe.
||//Is there such a thing, other than a shadow?//
||You're making the mistake of conflating the image with the
medium. The graven images prohibition is specifically
meant to refer to idols in the form of statues, which by
definition must be
sculpted in three dimensions.
||Maybe, the bible is trying to preempt graffiti in all it's
forms. Aerial sign writing, dyed embankments, oh the
sacrilege. All for pristine photographs.