h a l f b a k e r yCeci n'est pas une idée.
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Hungry patrons enter this odd restaurant and are seated in
front of a large clear, bullet-proof screen where the food is
prepared before them.
Diners choose a delicious sandwich from the menu and
their weapon of choice via an array of coloured and
flashing buttons at their table.
Once
the order is taken, the food is cooked and prepared
and placed at one end of the 'kitchen' area inside another
bullet proof chamber.
A siren is sounded with appropriate flashing lights, and a
small door opens above your sandwich. A man's hand
appears and fires into the chamber at close range - the
bullet passing through your sandwich and into a specially
designed table that absorbs the impact, leaving your food
sitting quite neatly on top.
A waitress (with kevlar apron) retrieves your sandwich and
serves it to you at your table. A photograph is taken of
you with your sandwich - resplendent with bullet hole
directly through bread/salami/cheese/lettuce etc so that
you may always remember your violent and touching lunch
time experience.
Burroughs Shotgun Painting
http://images.googl...S:official%26sa%3DN
Here's the extreme version (creator sadly no longer available due to mortal termination) [xenzag, Jan 08 2009]
Potato bar, sometimes as violent.
Mangled_20Potato_20Bar
[daseva, Jan 12 2009]
Fark: West Midlands cafe wins "Britain's best bacon sandwich" prize.
http://forums.fark....s.pl?IDLink=4218155
In other news, there is a man in England who's job was to travel the country eating bacon [Dub, Feb 18 2009]
[link]
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I'd come in just to order sandwiches with fillings that I *hated* - particularly the ones with fillings that I love, ruined by horrific sauces and mayonnaise.
[Die B*****d!] |
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In your dreams a disembodied hand emerges from the stricken sandwich and returns fire... at you! It must have been the cheese. |
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Could you choose between mafia style shootings and perhaps a more subtle pillow over the sandwich approach? |
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Also, for the absorbant table, soap or wax could be used. I know they use soap for balistics testing as it has similar piercing characteristics as people. |
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//a more subtle pillow over the sandwich// |
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How do you determine when a sandwich has stopped struggling? |
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[pertinax], I was actually thinking of the pillow being used to quieten the shot and reduce blast back rather than suffocation. |
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Off topic - I know films are not great sources of fact but when you suffocate someones face with a pillow until they stop struggling, surely they would just be unconcious but still breathing when you take it away, not dead. |
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It's much more fun to attack the buggers with a fork. Not,
like, eating them or anything, just gouging at soggy bread
etc.
Still great idea though [+] |
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I bet that some smart alec will order a bagel... |
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So, maybe someone should make *target* bread... |
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Surely you wouldn't *ever* want to harm a really nice bacon sandwich. |
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with tomato and a bit of cheese on a decent toasted bagel, buttered not margarined and a ... stupid diet. |
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//Surely you wouldn't *ever* want to harm a really nice bacon
sandwich.// |
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Mehe. Pretty much the only people who don't eat bacon
sandwiches are vegetarians, we can't harm them 'cause it's
kind of sending the wrong message. |
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Can you order out? I'd like to put bulletholes in a few of Subway's offerings (they're the only place besides the crappy cafeteria within a long walk of here and I'm really tired of them) |
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for an additional fee, a shirtless man with a dark
hood will slice your sandwich in half via guillotine -
each half landing in a little basket either side of
the chopping block. delicious! |
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I would prefer to see my sandwich lovingly pampered first. |
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Can we organise these to be installed at every McDonald's "restaurant"? |
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There are enough people who hate their disgusting shitburgers. I made the mistake of eating one late last night... long day of work and the only place I could get a quick bite at 11:30pm. Foul bastard of a thing, with those skanky fucking pickles that Macca's loads onto everything they make. |
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Blecchhhh... you wouldn'tve thought that the concerted
efforts of some of the richest people in the world would
make such a shit recipe, would ya? But they do....
Still better than Kentucky Fried Crap though.... |
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"Concentrated efforts" can only do so much for a burger that costs 15 cents to make. |
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I'll have mine submerged and torpedoed please. |
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Brings a whole new meaning to "Torpedo Sandwich". |
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..."Would you like it Grilled?"
"No. Toast it. Toast it Real Good!!" |
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with your choice of ketchup or mustard flavoured
gun powder |
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I don't see why this wouldn't appeal to people who like sandwiches as well? |
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There are plenty of people who like to shoot the things they enjoy eating. |
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Hahahaha... very good. Yes, I suppose it could provide
vegetarian option to hunting.... |
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My thoughts exactly, [mylodon]. I've been sitting here thinking I could probably get a cherry tomato into a paint ball gun... |
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Haha... surely an olive [pre-skewered] would work best? |
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"Two McPalin Mooseburgers to go, y'all!" |
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My mum always asked "How many rounds would you like ?". Either my memory got corrupted or it was an uncanny prediction of the future. |
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Death to potato side dishes, as well. <linky> |
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could a professional dagger thrower just quarter my sandwich from across the room? that'd be cool too. |
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Flame thrower/napalm for a toastie? |
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Napalm doesn't taste so good. It's just soap and kerosene or gasoline, mixed to a jelly. It burns dirty and relatively cool, leaving a nasty residue. Not that I ever experimented with making it when I was a younger man... oh no, not I... |
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[+] The only good sandwich is a dead sandwich. |
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[+] A sandwich is just a sandwich. But a DeadManwhich is more like a meal... |
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