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Savour of the Universe

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Analysis of a vast number of images has made it possible to calculate that the average colour of the universe is taupe.

However, as far as I am aware, nobody has yet determined the average flavour of the universe. It should be possible to do this.

Of course, a lot of the universe is either vacuum (which is, at best, rather bland). And a lot more of it is either hydrogen or helium, both of which are (I think) tasteless. Howevertheless, spectroscopic analysis has revealed large quantities of simple organic compounds (such as ethanol), inorganic salts and so forth.

It should, therefore, be possible to determine - and recreate - the average flavour of the universe. Obviously, it will probably be like chicken, but I think we should know for sure.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2015

http://naturalscien...we-know/raspberries [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 29 2015]

Air Fridge http://www.textfiles.com/humor/strine.txt
the air fridge man in the street [Ian Tindale, Jul 30 2015]

How we taste different colours http://www.theguard...e-different-colours
[Ian Tindale, Jul 30 2015]

[link]






       This idea is in very poor taste.
8th of 7, Jul 29 2015
  

       Thank you. We do try.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2015
  

       Incidentally, the intercalary did once make an attempt to determine the average flavour of all life on earth. He managed to blend representative samples of 4,513 species (which, in turn, had been chosen as representative of their group) into a sort of grey paté which, he claimed, tasted just like a Mohito.   

       However, I strongly suspect that he merely substituted a Mohito for the blend at the final step.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2015
  

       Which reminds me: Sturton says to tell you 'Yes, they are flammable and yes, it does hurt.' He said you'd know what he was talking about.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2015
  

       //vacuum (which is, at best, rather bland)   

       How do you know?
the porpoise, Jul 29 2015
  

       Oh, come now. Which of us has not put his tongue in the nozzle of a Hoover?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2015
  

       I said: "Which of us has not..." Oh bugger.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 29 2015
  

       Flesh! Aah-aaaah, savoury universe.
Ian Tindale, Jul 29 2015
  

       //average flavour// would that be mean, median or mode?
pocmloc, Jul 30 2015
  

       I mean mean. So, mass-averaged.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 30 2015
  

       Some parts of the universe are moving pretty fast - so will the mass measurement be adjusted for relativistic effects?
hippo, Jul 30 2015
  

       Would the universe be served at its ambient temperature? That's something less than 3 Kelvin I believe. Might need some more background microwave radiation to warm it up a tad.
AusCan531, Jul 30 2015
  

       ("Flash a-ah
Savour of the Universe
Flash a-ah
He'll savour every one of us")
hippo, Jul 30 2015
  

       This needs a number set for flavour, deep learning algorithms and, of course, probes to touch all the universe's corners.
wjt, Jul 30 2015
  

       //Flavour itself is pretty bland. Smell actually makes up a great deal of the sense of taste.//   

       Uh, that's farce-about-ace. Flavour is the combination of taste (on the tongue, which has tastebuds, not flavourbuds) and smell.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 30 2015
  

       Actually, vision is a significant part of how we ascertain flavour.
Ian Tindale, Jul 30 2015
  

       Vision is secondary to imagination and expectation.
pocmloc, Jul 30 2015
  

       I think what's happening here is overthinking. What I'm saying is: we take everything in the universe and put it in a blender. Then we put some of it on a spoon and into a mouth. What does it taste like?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 30 2015
  

       How will the spoon be wasn’t blended?
Ian Tindale, Jul 30 2015
  

       It would will be haven't.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 30 2015
  

       there is no spoon   

       // we take everything in the universe and put it in a blender. //   

       Klein bottle blender ?   

       // What does it taste like? //   

       Lemon curry ?
8th of 7, Jul 30 2015
  

       Recipe?
xenzag, Jul 31 2015
  

       Not really, more of a preparation process ... Haute Cuisine meets Astrophysics ...
8th of 7, Jul 31 2015
  

       If you put everything in the blender, obviously it would taste like blender bits. Because in order to put everything in the blender, the blender itself would have to be in it. Which would mean you'd need a bigger blender for that, ad infinitum. And why isn't the mouth in the blender?   

       Or maybe it would taste like turtles, with a hint of elephant.
RayfordSteele, Jul 31 2015
  

       This makes me wonder if the pH of the Universe is neutral. I think it must be highly acidic because of all the hydrogen ions, and therefore I would expect it to taste lemony.
nineteenthly, Jul 31 2015
  

       “We’re gonna need a bigger blender”
Ian Tindale, Jul 31 2015
  

       //all the hydrogen ions//   

       Well, technically not. If there are lots of free protons floating around, there ought to be lots of spare electrons in a box somewhere, probably in the attic. Unless the universe has a net charge.   

       However, you have just made me realise that protons taste lemony (well, acidic anyway), for which I am grateful. Electrons taste tingly (at least, the ones from a 9V battery do). If anyone knows what neutrons taste of, we'll have made progress.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 31 2015
  

       Neutrons will cleanse the palate, surely.
wjt, Jul 31 2015
  

       Hydrogen in its proton ion form is acidic tasting.   

       Howevertheless - is that a word?
pashute, Aug 02 2015
  

       //is that a word?// There are pedants who would disagree. Howevertheless, I insist that they are wrong.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 02 2015
  

       It is possible to insist that pedants are wrong, and be wrong.
pocmloc, Aug 02 2015
  

       Do you mean the pedants are wrong to be pedants (and should strive to be less pedantic ), or that the pedants, while correct in their approach and analysis, have on this occaision fallen into a factual or logical error ?
8th of 7, Aug 02 2015
  

       Indoubtedly the latter.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 02 2015
  

       UPDATE:   

       OK, as far as I can figure out, the universe tastes like gin and tonic.   

       (Caveat: I cannot be sure that I have representatively sampled all the matter in the universe before arriving at this conclusion. In fact it's quite likely that I only sampled a gin and tonic.)
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 03 2015
  

       Best repeat the experiment. Remember, the more times you repeat it with the same result, the more statistically valid the result.
pocmloc, Aug 03 2015
  

       Hah! I laugh in the face of stastickal singing fences. Staticstall significates. Those things.   

       I'm a biologist. 50:50 is proof enough for me.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 03 2015
  

       I thought it tasted like Italian beer this evening. Beer is a naturally occurring substance within the universe, and possibly the most common, forming a statistical baseline. It’s certainly the most common most days.
Ian Tindale, Aug 03 2015
  

       You could have a point there, though personally I doubt it. The Italians make a decent stab at making beer, but I can't help feeling that they should have stopped after inventing the olive and vermouth.   

       Incidentally, has anyone noticed that Greece is the only major nation not to have made a significant contribution to alcoholism? I mean, there's retsina and ouzo (both of which sound very much like sub machine-guns), but they're both the sort of things you only drink in order to say you've drunk them. I think this probably explains a lot about the plight of the Greek economy.   

       Which reminds me: [8th], if you're listening, Sturton said to tell you that you should only open that bottle he sent under argon.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 03 2015
  

       Flavour ideas are not allowed here.
xandram, Aug 04 2015
  

       Ah, but this is not an idea for a flavour. This is an idea about how to _find_ a flavour.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 04 2015
  
      
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