Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sex Stopwatch

Stop! Watch sex.
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(+3, -2)
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Strategically placed sub-dermal sensor capable of measuring temperature, humidity, pressure, presence of specific pheromones and so on and so forth, such that it collates sufficient information to be able to determine when sexual intercourse occurs.

When sexual intercourse occurs, sensor relays signal to prominent, skinnable clock display (LCD, LED, miniature vector plotter with paper, whatever), which promptly resets to zero and resumes counting upwards. Thus the wearer can display to public how long it has been since they last had sexual intercourse.

Possible users: specific branches of clergy, criminal justice system, parents who want their offspring to feel even more the crushing weight of their persistent virginity, the studly.

calum, Dec 18 2003

Kevin Warwick http://www.kevinwarwick.com/
[calum, Oct 04 2004]

Humidity Meters http://www.professi....298/qx/default.htm
available [calum, Oct 04 2004]

Pressure Meters http://www.electric...Store/EX/407495.htm
also available [calum, Oct 04 2004]

Thermometers http://www.obiat.co...perature_meters.htm
also also available [calum, Oct 04 2004]

Dogs http://www.dogbarte...digree/default.aspx
sniff sniff woof bark slobber [calum, Oct 04 2004]


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Annotation:







       //Thus the wearer can display to public how long it has been since they last had sexual intercourse.//   

       Or how long its been since their last visit to the strip club.
Letsbuildafort, Dec 18 2003
  

       ditto [Lbaf]. WIBNI [calum] and you know it.   

       (Besides, why would you want to know?)
k_sra, Dec 18 2003
  

       How about a lap timer so you know how long you've had sex for?   

       Quick quiz:   

       3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) Your partner climaxes first
b) You both climax simultaneously
c) You don't miss Sports Center
grip, Dec 18 2003
  

       4. You time the duration so that:   

       a) You can impress your friends
b) Place bets on how long one can last then the other
c) Calculate your personal best times
v0rtexx, Dec 19 2003
  

       I'm not sure that the metric data returned from a stip club wank is likely to be that close to the information returned from sexual intercourse - that said, I ain't never been in a strip club, so I could be wrong.   

       I don't think that this is a WIBNI, either. It is possible to measure all of the metrics (with the possible exception of the pheromones). And subdermal implants are not fantasy, as Kevin of Warwick has shown us. True, the size of some of these measuring devices might be such that the wearer has to drag a little cart full of machines around behind them, but they'll be wearing a clock that says when they last had sex, so they're probably not too concerned with appearances. In fact, you could hook up a dog, or some other olfactorally sensitive creature, to the contraption, so as to detect pheromones, and to complete the look.   

       [k_sra], it's not a question of the wearer wanting to know, more a question of the wearer wanting others to know (or others wanting others to know).
calum, Dec 19 2003
  

       Who are you quoting?
thumbwax, Dec 19 2003
  

       .. it ain't what ya do its how long that ya do it,
that's what get results
  

       FYI I spent 73 seconds reading this before I fishboned it. I felt a flush of warmth in so doing and an adrenaline rush.
dobtabulous, Dec 19 2003
  

       How did you pass the time?
calum, Dec 19 2003
  

       From what I've seen of the man-machine-interface geeks like Kevin (The Skynet Is Falling! The Skynet Is Falling!) Warwick and a bunch of really very sad individuals at MIT ("Yes, the camera films what's in front of me and feeds it to a heads-up display on my super Star Dreck stylee borg-goggles."... "Ah, right so. And couldn't you just take off the goggles and, um, look at it?") - I should think there might be some problems here. Presumably whover was wearing this would need to have sex in order to callibrate the various doohickeys involved. At least once. In their lifetime.
Guy Fox, Dec 19 2003
  

       I'm hoping to get a research grant, too.
calum, Dec 19 2003
  

       haha I bet you could use this to check out the mileage on your biatch. then trade her in for a new model when the mileage gets too high!
sotopheavy, Jul 19 2006
  

       a) and a).
normzone, Jul 19 2006
  

       //.. it ain't what ya do its how long that ya do it, that's what get results//   

       Oh, [dobtabulous]. You're so wrong.
squeak, Jul 20 2006
  


 

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