Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Single-leaf tea

  [vote for,

Halfbakers are clearly troubled by teabags, and by their non-optimality. Fortunately, MaxCo. Tea, Inc. has the solution.

We start with big tea leaves (that is, intact leaves of the tea plant). This, of course, rules out anything like PG Tips (which, as the name implies, are made from only the tips of the PG), and may in fact require us to create a GM tea with larger leaves. But that's not our department.

On arriving at the factory, the tea leaves pass along a conveyer belt, and thence under a cutter modelled loosely on the Sierpinski gasket. Each leaf is therefore perforated with an infinite series of triangular holes.

The material that is punched out of the leaf is diverted into a hopper, where it processed to make ordinary tea - either loose or in perforated paper bags. However, the remainder of the leaf, still in one piece but now perfectly perforated, is individually foil-wrapped and boxed.

Those who are troubled by teabags can, therefore, purchase a box of our perforated leaves. A single leaf, dunked by its stalk into boiling water, will release its teaey goodness from the infinite number of cut edges, creating a perfect single-leaf cuppa.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 20 2017

But what would you have to accompany this kind of tea? Sierpinski_20dunking_20cookie
[hippo, Jun 21 2017]

Different infinities https://en.wikipedi...Infinity#Set_theory
For [8th of 7]. [neutrinos_shadow, Jun 21 2017]


       Whenever I have tried infinitely strong tea, I find it tastes somewhat bitter.
pocmloc, Jun 21 2017

       I'm pretty sure "tips" as in "PG Tips" does not mean the tips of the leaves; Rather it means the selection of whole leaves from the tips of the tea plant - i.e. the youngest and smallest leaves.
hippo, Jun 21 2017

       Doubtless so, but they would be small, would they not?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 21 2017

       Yes, but a small thing with an infinite surface area should be equivalent to a large thing with an infinite surface area, for beverage-making purposes.
hippo, Jun 21 2017

       Hmm. You might have a point there. [hippo] would you like a position on MaxCo.'s Technical Development board? Only we're working on the Menger Sponge Coffee Bean project and could use some input. It's £48,000 per year - I'm sure you could afford that.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 21 2017

       That should be OK, as long as there's a performance-related(*) bonus package.

(* - nothing complicated, but linked to the number of holes in the Menger Sponge product)
hippo, Jun 21 2017

       The infinite single-leaf tea in the morning, the single malt in the afternoon? Bun.   

       Special mention for "teaey".
whatrock, Jun 21 2017

       one of the challenges of infinite strength of brewed tea is that is of infinite strength.   

       Could a person consider a Sierpinski triangle or serpenski octagon to specify different infinities of brew strength?
beanangel, Jun 21 2017

       // different infinities //   

8th of 7, Jun 21 2017

       You could use this product to create homeopathic tea. Use the One Leaf to brew One Cup of infinitely strong tea, and then dilute it as many times as you like to make as many cups of tea as you want. Every household could have one of the infinitely many cups of diluted tea, and use it to make every cup of tea ever needed and more.   

       Trouble is, they would all be as bitter as feck. What we need is a practical way to make an infinite dilution. Suggestions? There must be some Homeopaths who have experience with this kind of thing?
pocmloc, Jun 22 2017

       [MB]'s sibling is a homeopath.   

       Oh, no, sorry, he's a psychopath. And homosexual. So not a proper homeopath.
8th of 7, Jun 22 2017

       You'd best not be in when Sturton comes round, [8th]. Especially if the intercalary is with him - Sturton like to hit people with him.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017

       Oh, the ingratitude. He was all smiles and affection when he opened his Christmas present from us last year.
8th of 7, Jun 22 2017

       Yes, until he used it. Mixing in a depilation cream was just evil. Inspired, but evil. Fagn's fur is still sparse and thin.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017

       "practical way to make an infinite dilution" just make a Sierpinksi ice cube. Lots of water there.
beanangel, Jun 22 2017

       It depends how you make it. If you start with water and build it up, yes. But, if you start with a regular ice cube and take away the holes, you remove an infinite amount of material and therefore end up with incredibly dense dryth.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017

       Actually, it would need to be a Menger Sponge ice cube; Sierpinski carpets are essentially two-dimensional.
8th of 7, Jun 22 2017

       dilution with one very talented snowflake might work too.
beanangel, Jun 22 2017

       No. A menger sponge has zero volume and mass, but infinite surface area. So a Menger sponge ice cube would not have any water in it, but at least it would melt instantaneously.   

       Homeopathy is not as simple as that.
pocmloc, Jun 22 2017

pocmloc, Jun 22 2017

MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017

       // Homeopathy is not as simple as that. //   

       That's true, it's important to remember the egregious fraud aspect as well.   

       // a Menger sponge ice cube would not have any water in it, //   

       ... making the "ice" part of it a bit of a misnomer, Shirley ? So, what you would have is a cubic empty space filled with a mathematical paradox at 0 C.   

       Don't you just loved formal topology ?
8th of 7, Jun 22 2017

       Liberté, égalité, cuppaté.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 22 2017

8th of 7, Jun 23 2017

FlyingToaster, Jun 23 2017

       Its actually Zeno vs Democritus and Democritus wins. It might be less halfbakeryish if I explained ...a paradox
beanangel, Jun 23 2017

       // if I explained ...a paradox //   

       Since everything you explain is a paradox, it wouldn't be a paradox, but a tautology.   

       Now, pick the bones out of that one.
8th of 7, Jun 23 2017

       Despite our local pond having a locked fence around it, each morning there were tracks of four webbed feet coming out of the water onto the mud.
Ian Tindale, Jun 23 2017

       So, what nocturnal animal has four webbed feet and lives underwater during the day ?   

       The answer is clearly a duck-billed platypus.   

       The platypus is a native of Australia (poor little sod).   

       Since you describe the pond as "local", and it contains a platypus, ipso facto you are in Australia.   

       But don't despair, there are organizations to help people like you, although not specifically to help you, since you're clearly beyond help. After all, you're hallucinating about a platypus in your local pond.   

       On consideration, you probably are better off giving in to despair.
8th of 7, Jun 23 2017


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