Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Smart Phone Bandit Arm

One-armed Bandit lever-arm for smart phone data use
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My experience with using the internet over smart phones has been about 42 percent successful, meaning that 42 percent of the time when you google something on a smart phone, you get an answer and 58 percent of the time the phone blows up, freezes, stalls for extended periods without feedback, or a series of things that I did not mean to happen, happen on the phone without my having done anything to make them happen. Maybe this is because I am using an Android phone, which sucks. Or maybe, and this is where the 42 percent comes in, it is because smart phones and everything else in the capitalist world are designed to get you into the gamblin' mood, 42 percent being the approximate odds you have of winning money in Vegas. So in this spirit and to remind everyone that life is a gamble and not some frickin German science laboratory, I am proposing that smart phones have little one-armed bandit levers on their sides that you can activate to do an Internet search, so that you will be really excited and feel like you won something when you actually connect, and be depressed but curiously intrigued when your smart phone blows up, instead of, the way I always seem to, feeling like a frustrated German scientist working in a claptrap laboratory with a bunch of evil squirrels for lab partners.
JesusHChrist, Apr 11 2013

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       The answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42
piluso, Apr 11 2013
  

       [+] ... you could have stopped at "smart phone bandit arm"
FlyingToaster, Apr 11 2013
  

       Devices of astonishing technological sophistication that still manage to be a piece of crap. The Dougster more or less predicted that, too.
spidermother, Apr 11 2013
  

       I recently made it my personal policy to not become upset over the failure of technology that I did perfectly well without five years ago. It's not worth the emotional energy when I can just set it down and go about things the way I did it then.
Alterother, Apr 11 2013
  

       //Android truly is a pile of crap.   

       Probably because the syntax is nightmarish drivel...I can write 21 pages of code in php which works and not even be able to work out how to make Android display "hello world" when I click on a button.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 11 2013
  
      
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