Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I like this idea, only I think it should be run by the government.

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Snotrifuge

'tis the season ...
  (+8)(+8)
(+8)
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I am morally opposed to (remembering to purchase) Kleenex; a roll of bathroom tissue on the coffee table looks a bit out of place, and kitchen paper towels are a bit unwieldy. Kerchiefs only work if you have lots of them and are well organized.

The Snotrifuge resembles an asthma puffer in size and shape: a short twin-pipe with a small bottle hanging off the bottom. Push the button and the small battery-powered centrifuge in the pipe spins up.

Place the device over the nostrils and blow. Air passes through the centrifuge while snot and boogers collect in the bottle, which should hold about eight good blows before needing to be cleaned.

To clean, turn the unit upside-down, blow into it and push the button. In the inverted position the centrifuge will run backwards, pushing the bottle's contents into the air stream.

FlyingToaster, Dec 19 2013

Schlrrrrrplplp http://www.ambu.co....e_pump-prod875.aspx
Not centrifugal, but may possibly be adapted to feed into the fuge? [bhumphrys, Dec 21 2013]

[link]






       Magnificent. A boon for rhinitis sufferers everywhere, and guaranteed to break the ice at parties. [+]
8th of 7, Dec 19 2013
  

       What if you're at an ice-fishing party?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 19 2013
  

       + Could include desiccant to keep the collector dry.
csea, Dec 19 2013
  

       Well, you'd probably (definitely) want to wipe the intake as well as your nose, afterwards. But that's a miniscule amount: a single shirtsleeve could last all day. The intake has a ledge at the bottom so nothing ends up in your moustache.
FlyingToaster, Dec 19 2013
  

       work in a lab, box of tissues every 3 feet, someone else buys them.
bs0u0155, Dec 20 2013
  

       Interesting.   

       Whenever I pass through the cold season, or as occurred recently, I have my first bad reaction to a flu shot, I think about alternative body fluid input/output devices.   

       This is not one of them (+).
normzone, Dec 20 2013
  

       // alternative body fluid input/output devices //   

       Now there's a concept just crying out for its own Halfbakery category …
8th of 7, Dec 20 2013
  

       Seems like if this interfaced into the two nostrils properly there would be no need to use a shirt-sleeve for touch-up work. The intake should be coated with a hydrophobic coating, so the airflow will keep it clean without wiping.
scad mientist, Dec 20 2013
  
      
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