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Snowball Cores

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It is snowing in East Anglia, and already the place has been brought to a standstill. Some of the drifts are up to two inches deep.

Unfortunately, such a thin dusting of snow is ill-suited to making giant snowballs and, thence, a snowman. You would have to start in Cambridge and roll all the way out to Newmarket to make even a half-decent snowman thorax. Moreovermore, snow is quite heavy stuff, and this limits the size of snowman one can realistically create.

However, MaxCo. (as ever) to the rescue. This spring (having missed winter, which is really a great pity), we are launching our range of Snowball Cores. Each Core is a spherical shell made of hundreds of fine, interwoven carbon fibre rods for a combination of lightness, stiffness and interwovenness. They are available in diameters from 103cm up to a whopping 9ft 7 3/4".

Simply place the Snowball Core in the middle of a light dusting of snow, and begin to roll. The snow will be picked up by the meshy surface, quickly creating a uniform coating and producing a vast, perfectly spherical yet lightweight snowball, ready for any project requiring a vast, perfectly spherical yet lightweight snowball.

MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 17 2018

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       // 103cm up to a whopping 9ft 7 3/4". //   

       We are only interested in purchasing if there is a version sized to I. K. Brunel's 7' 1/4" Broad Gauge.
8th of 7, Mar 17 2018
  

       //already the place has been brought to a standstill.// //Some of the drifts are up to two inches deep.//   

       LMAO   

       ^bugger [picks up arse].   

       Umm, has anyone got something to stick this back on with?   

       Please stop, I nearly choked myself into a seizure there :)   

       A depressingly accurate narrative regarding the inability of our millennial snowflake filled nation to deal with.. well.. a few snowflakes, though.
Skewed, Mar 17 2018
  

       Comes in two sizes I presume, one for the body & one for the head, is there a complimentary plastic carrot & two lumps of plastic coal?
Skewed, Mar 17 2018
  

       // the inability of our millennial snowflake filled nation to deal with.. well.. a few snowflakes //   

       Hindsight's a wonderful thing.   

       Between 1940 and 1944, the Luftwaffe dropped tens of thousands of tons of high explosive ordnance on Britain.   

       All they needed was to stuff a sack with good quality Bavarian snow and lob it out of a cruising Fieseler Storch at treetop height over the A1, and Churchill would have been blubbing for a peace deal within minutes.   

       The fools ... if they'd done it right, Germany would be dominating all of europe by now.   

       Oh, wait ...
8th of 7, Mar 17 2018
  

       //only interested in purchasing if there is a version sized to Brunels 7' 1/4" Broad Gauge.//   

       Sir, this is MaxCo. you are dealing with, not some fly-by- night hagpoacher's van. When we say "from" and "to", we mean "from", "to" and all sizes in between at Planck-length intervals. The item code for 7' 1/4" is, unfortunately, too long to accommodate in an annotation.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 17 2018
  

       Nice [+] could be used to make a line of “very disappointing dumplings” popular with anorexics and religious ascetics, and prescribed by drs (but less popular in that case)
DDRopDeadly, Mar 18 2018
  

       [+] for any idea that proposes an alternative to visiting Newmarket.
Wrongfellow, Mar 18 2018
  

       //ready for any project requiring a vast, perfectly spherical yet lightweight snowball//   

       They need to weigh a fair bit to stick the snow together. A snowball usually only gets going when its about 30cm in diameter. Do you do cylindrical cores ? I find those have greater integrity for rolling down hills.
bigsleep, Mar 18 2018
  

       [+] for the diction alone. I wish I could give you a second for the idea
Voice, Mar 20 2018
  

       I think one might best use these by placing them in the desired final site and then packing on a layer by hand.
bungston, Mar 20 2018
  

       Are you missing your winter? We seem to have run across an stray one wandering in every week or so looking for its owner. There were no tags on it, so we sent it to the pound.
RayfordSteele, Mar 20 2018
  

       Do you have to refridgerate them first?
wjt, Mar 23 2018
  
      
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