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Something Worse Than Global Warming

Make GW seem less urgent and hence more fun
  (+4, -6)
(+4, -6)
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Often, when there is a task a person doesn't want to do, the emergence of a new, harder task suddenly makes the first one seem more appealing, and this now less important task is the one that receives the effort.

If scientists of the world could agree to secretly make up and announce a new major threat, much worse than global warming (e.g. "Remnants of a ancient supernova are headed towards Earth and will bombard us with deadly radiation within 25 years - we must build shelters immediately"), then this will give our world's people a new thing to procrastinate on and Global Warming will receive more attention.

phundug, Sep 17 2007

Try any of these... http://www.exitmundi.nl/exitmundi.htm
There's plenty to worry about already. [theleopard, Sep 17 2007]

The real threat... http://www.odt.org/...e%20only%201200.jpg
[theleopard, Sep 18 2007]

WO? http://www.usps.com...kups/abbr_state.txt
which one were you thinking of, [the_leaper]? [k_sra, Sep 18 2007]

Don't ask! http://www.youtube....watch?v=sE76LQwT6qA
[nuclear hobo, Sep 19 2007]

Gambia http://go.hrw.com/a...norm_map/gambia.gif
now almost fully worm shaped [xenzag, Sep 19 2007]

[link]






       I thought that was Islam?
DrCurry, Sep 17 2007
  

       "But should I get the pink shelter or the white one? Ach, too many choices! I'm going green!" +
k_sra, Sep 17 2007
  

       That's what global warming already is. The real problem is still killer bees.
GutPunchLullabies, Sep 17 2007
  

       Baked - world population explosion coupled with pandemic threat.
Ian Tindale, Sep 17 2007
  

       The globe is warming? Who's-a-jig-a-what?
evilpenguin, Sep 17 2007
  

       Two things, related:   

       George Bush, and doing nothing about it.
nuclear hobo, Sep 17 2007
  

       //Something Worse Than Global Warming//   

       Nuclear Winter?
quantum_flux, Sep 17 2007
  

       Why would anyone concern themselves with global warming if they believe the world is going to end in 25 years' time?
egbert, Sep 18 2007
  

       Islam is just another religion, that anno was uncalled for, I mean come on.
zeno, Sep 18 2007
  

       I think he was commenting on the media's hysterical portrayal of Islam in recent years. Not that Islam is actually the new doom of the World.
theleopard, Sep 18 2007
  

       yeah, I assumed he meant Bush's war on terra.
marklar, Sep 18 2007
  

       Ah, I see, we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
zeno, Sep 18 2007
  

       See, you've all forgotten about global warming already. Nice one, [DrCurry]!
jtp, Sep 18 2007
  

       "war on terra": n. War against land, often resulting in warmer globes before catastrophic transitions into nuclear winter. Not to be confused with the "war on terror": war against scary things.
daseva, Sep 18 2007
  

       I'll tell you what you want to worry about. I saw it in a dream.   

       One day a small fight will break out in a library in James Town, WY, USA between a disgruntled map- maker and the fellow to whom he was trying to explain the natural formation of fjords. Suddenly, before anyone can address the problem, the townsfolk are rioting in the streets increasingly frustrated with inaccurate cartography and mercator projections on CNN. "Why these absurd angles?" they scream like banshees as they burn the local library's entire collection of maps. "We don't want your stupid-shaped countries in our maps any more!" they chant.   

       The hysteria spreads, first to Colarado and Utah, where right-anglites emerge as a powerful underground force - like a perfectly rectangular sleeper cell - and then further still into New Mexico. Soon Kansas is in uproar as 200,000 Kansas City dwellers descend upon the Missouri river and begin diverting it with girders ripped from their own homes. The US government, unwilling to quell the uprise, orders Missouri to relinquish the land that falls within Kansas's new 90° river. Missouri agrees, Kansas rejoices, Nebraska implodes.   

       A small handful of Egyptian tourists caught in the violence on their way through the US return home glad to be away from the violence. They expound the events to their friends and family but are mortified to hear their reactions and apparent approval. Within minutes Egypt, Sudan, Chad and Libya have formed a coalition group to invade those countries around them that do not support the abolition of squiggly maps, and subsequently new borders are set up.   

       As Nebraskan refugees flood into North Africa a strong bond forms between the central US states and their African counterparts and soon an alliance is born. The US is separated right down the centre, and subsequently conquered from the inside out by superior weaponry and engineering as Squaredom annexes the country state by state; the US is overwhelmed by surprisingly efficient square-wheeled tanks and super-hard rectangle bullets.   

       Over time the squariness of coastlines becomes the greatest setback for Squaredom, but the deserts in Africa soon become a valuable asset as sand and rocks are exported to fill in the gaps. The conflicts, the border realignment and the coastal adjustments continue across the globe.   

       A long and destructive war is waged against Norway.   

       Heed my words fellow 'bakers, forget all this mumbo jumbo about the green house effect, carbon emissions and the ozone layer. Unless you want this planet to look like the Borg I suggest you start campaigning against Global Wyoming.
theleopard, Sep 18 2007
  

       lay off the catnip
evilpenguin, Sep 18 2007
  

       [the_leopard], i failed to read your story because i was arrested at the outset by the reference to James Town, WO, USA. please see my [link] above and let me know exactly what state you may have been referring to so that i may continue to read your lovely story.
k_sra, Sep 18 2007
  

       My apologies. Amended, but it's not a lovely story. It's DOOMSDAY!!
theleopard, Sep 18 2007
  

       yes, but how can i know that if it's set in the fictional state of Worbleblott?
k_sra, Sep 18 2007
  

       You asked for it - here it is. A student who gets arrested and tasered simply because he has the audacity to ask questions. [link]
nuclear hobo, Sep 19 2007
  

       World War III? Cold War II?
croissantz, Sep 19 2007
  

       How about a new Crusades? Oh! ... Oh God.
theleopard, Sep 19 2007
  

       I had a similar dream [theleapord] only all the countries in the world were becoming worm shaped, after a tectonic virus that orginates in Gambia.   

       If you look at a map of Gambia (see link) you can see how it started off near the coast as a regular angled sort of place, but as Global Worming took hold, the whole country broke into Senegal.   

       Now is the time to look at the outline of your country.... are you next?   

       Keep watching the maps!
xenzag, Sep 19 2007
  

       [daseva] I could have explained the joke myself but I prefer to keep them subtle.
marklar, Sep 19 2007
  

       [xenzag], did your dream have a weird naked Indian guy in it?
theleopard, Sep 19 2007
  

       Yes! I have to ask, don't you think it's always a trifle unnecessary to see the crack in the indian's bottom?
theleopard, Sep 19 2007
  

       They need to put an apache over those cracks. (groans but refuses to retract)
xenzag, Sep 19 2007
  

       You'd think they'd be able to Sioux a pair of trousers together...
zen_tom, Sep 19 2007
  

       I think toxic pollution of the ocean and overfishing is a more serious threat, the oceans can only only handle so much before the entire ecosystem collapses, and considering that about half the worlds oxygen is produced by the mircoscopic plants in the ocean, I'd say that this is a pretty serious threat. But do we hear anything about this compared to global warming?
ModernDivo, Sep 24 2008
  

       "The LHC will destroy the universe" ?
FlyingToaster, Sep 24 2008
  
      
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