Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Speedy Un-boarder

Extra price for LEAVING the plane more quickly
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Why is it possible to pay extra, line up in the "speedy boarding" queue to get on the plane and in your designated seat that no one else is allowed to sit in quicker than everyone else but with this special privilege you cannot leave the plane more quickly when ready to do so... Perhaps a delay for other passengers so the "special people" can leave first?... and I'm not talking about first or business class... this is no-frills..
AndyH, Jan 05 2016

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       A special chute around the middle of the plane, that speedy un-boaders could use to simply slide out of the plane and onto the tarmac?   

       Suitcase to follow? Hmmm...might work. I hate waiting to get off a plane. You get there and just stand...waiting for life to continue, and you're all excited to see the people waiting to greet you, and it's your vacation, and I can think of a thousand reasons why it would be nice.
blissmiss, Jan 05 2016
  

       //I hate waiting to get off a plane. You get there and just stand...waiting//   

       I've never really understood why everyone stands up and fights to retrieve their overhead luggage as soon as the plane stops moving.   

       Nobody is going anywhere until the doors open; you have to half- crouch under the overhead bins like some sort of pre- Neanderthal; and you don't get any further forward in the queue of people waiting to leave the plane than you would if you just sat there until the doors open.   

       It's madness, I tell you, sheer lunacy. Is this what we built the pyramids for?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 05 2016
  

       //Is this what we built the pyramids for?//   

       I think we can confidently answer that one: No, we did not build the pyramids to assist or indeed to hinder aircraft disembarkation in any way whatsoever.
pocmloc, Jan 05 2016
  

       [MaxwellBuchanan], I don't get that bit either. Sure, it's nice to stretch your legs after sitting for so long, but "must get up and get bags out IMMEDIATELY" is a weird frame of mind.
Unless I have to get to a connecting flight (in which case, I normally tell the cabin crew so they let me get up and to the door early) I just stay in my seat, relaxing. I'm nearly always the last (passenger) off the plane.
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 05 2016
  
      
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