Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Spray facilitator champagne attachment

sssPLOOOOOSSHHHH!
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Do you like to celebrate with champagne? Celebrate not by drinking it but by spraying it all around and soaking everything? Dissatisfied with the spray you get from a conventional bottle? We at BUNGCO are dissatisfied too. Too much of the CO2 is wasted into the air, when it could be propelling large sticky gouts of wine!

The SFCA is a long tube attached to an plastic plug. Before the bottle (of the finest champagnoid wine BUNGCO vintners can produce!) is corked, the SFCA is inserted in the neck. The tube extends down the the bottom of the bottle, like a jar of liquid soap. When the bottle is opened, the outgassing CO2 is largely captured in the bottle instead of being expelled wastefully as a cloud of gas. As the gas expands it pushes all the wine up through the SFCA ahead of it. The result: immediately after opening the entire bottle empties itself into the air! Wheeee! Also useful for performance art involving Pepsi and Mentos.

This idea might be helped by a drawing, if one of you empowered to post drawings feels so inclined.

bungston, Jul 12 2006

The Lake Nyos geyser vents CO2 http://news.bbc.co..../nature/4285878.stm
Pipes have been installed to remove CO2 from the bottom of the lakes. [baconbrain, Jul 13 2006]

Nozzle Drawings http://img83.images...image=nozzle5vx.png
[MoreCowbell, Jul 13 2006]

[link]






       Or maybe you could use Mentos. (Not sure if the chemistry is the same as for Coke.)
DrCurry, Jul 12 2006
  

       Mentos present the same problem - the outgassing CO2 is not optimally used to propel fluid.
bungston, Jul 12 2006
  

       Could've fooled me!
DrCurry, Jul 12 2006
  

       By adding a firmly attached spray nozzle, it opens up the possibility for genuine cham-pag-ne deodorant.
fridge duck, Jul 12 2006
  

       Sham, pain. I'm sure there's a pun in there somewhere.
methinksnot, Jul 12 2006
  

       [duck] must be a child of the Midwest, and wants to be sure that we all pronounce the hard g in champagne.
bungston, Jul 12 2006
  

       How about a special rotating cap with 4-6 angled nozzles? The angles would cause the cap to spin. You would have to take care removing the cork without shaking the bottle in order to get the gush-o-master cap on first.   

       //This idea might be helped by a drawing, if one of you empowered to post drawings feels so inclined.// I just drug my 12x12 Wacom tablet out of the attic (after searching 15 minutes for the power cord) just to discover that my new PC doesn't have a serial port. So, thanks to a sharpee and my scanner, I hacked some ideas together. See link.
MoreCowbell, Jul 13 2006
  

       I'm sorry, but as a champagne drinker, this idea gets a bone. Spraying the sacred grape around is sacrelige.
normzone, Jul 13 2006
  

       [MoreCowbell] -I like your spigots. It would be good if they could be in the bottleneck and extend themselves when the bottle is opened.   

       [normzone] -you can still drink it. Just tip your head back and open wide. Or wring out your shirt.
bungston, Jul 13 2006
  

       A relief valve could be used to automagically open the bottle when the pressure increases.
Ling, Jul 13 2006
  

       You could sell millions of these in joke shops the world over.   

       All it takes is 2 or 3 pence worth of plastic made to fit into a regular fizzy drink bottle neck to make you filthy and rich.
fridge duck, Jul 28 2006
  
      
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