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Karaoke nights can be a little daunting. You get a huge list of songs, among which there are some you think you know fairly well. However, once you're up there, microphone in hand, they turn out to have whole sections you don't remember. Sections that have been specifically designed to make karaoke singers,
you in particular, look like plonkers.
So.
Karaoke booths line the back of the stage in which revellers can listen to their selected tracks before committing to perform them. This way they will be reminded that Salt 'n' Pepa's 'Let's Talk About Sex' is predominantly a rap, and not just the chorus over and over again. Similarly, reminding singers how all the "woahee woah" bits go at the end will greatly reduce the number of bleeding ears in the audience. If the track is too daunting in some way a big shiny red button can be pressed, discreetly allowing the coward to leave the booth and merge seemlessly into the audience.
If the singer wishes to perform the track they hit the big shiny green button and the booth begins to fill with smoke. At the same time appropriate props descend from above; things like feather boas (Shirley Bassey tunes), one sequined glove (anything by Michael Jackson), cone-boobed bra (Madonna), blue lipstick (REM), a squirming bat with detachable head (Ozzy Osbourne) etc.
Booths can be linked, with intercom, for group songs like YMCA or Bohemian Rhapsody allowing harmonies, roles etc to be assigned should they wish to do so.
When the stage has been vacated by the previous act, some intro music plays like Richard Strauss's "Also sprach Zarathustra" (2001: Space Odyssey music) and the booth doors slide open. The smoke pours out and as you emerge, waving in your idiot costume, the intro to your track comes on and you proceed to sing it with questionable talent and gusto.
(Meanwhile amidst the smoke and lights, the next potential performers walk behind the stage and into the booths. A projector shines the song's lyrics over the booths so that the people within remain unseen.)
__________________
Thanks to my friend Beccy for providing the Salt 'n' Pepa lack-of-rapping experience.
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HA! excellent. from one karaoke fiend to another, i give this a solid bun that i have listened to in advance. + |
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//However, once you're up there, microphone in hand, they turn out to have whole sections you don't remember. // |
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I've tried Karaoke exactly one time. I was gonna sing Amos Moses, as written by Hank Williams, Jr. I know that version of the song by heart, and I've sung it so many times in my car I've even got the voice of Bocephus mastered (some of my old Air Force buddies can attest to that, they're the ones who told me I sound just like him when I sing). What first started playing was Space Cowboy, which is nowhere even close (but still a great song by the Steve Miller Band!). I got that sorted out and they started playing Amos Moses. NOT as written by Hank Williams, Jr., rather this was a SIMILAR version written by another singer, Jerry Reed, with a different beat and a lot of different words and timing. It was such a disaster I've never gone near a karaoke stage again. |
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And, for the record, Bocephus did it better. Jeery reed sings like a jackass (which is nothing like Assjack, one of Hank III's bands). Look up the song on Limewire, and listen to both versions. You'll see what I'm talking about... fuck, I grabbed the 80-proof bottle, THAT'S why it cost so much... no wonder the keys are spinnin' so much already... g'night folks... |
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That's awesome. You might want to have the booths separated by genre. Rock could have a revolving sponge set that paint your face like KISS by just pressing against it, plastic guitars, spiked bracelets.Rap could have cheap bling in it, cool sunglasses. Pop has a portable fan to make your hair blow around, etc. Maybe even a small monitor that plays some rockin moves to make your performance that much sweeter. |
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By the way, I think dropped a bun here last night, have ya seen it? Fresh-baked, golden brown and just the right amount of crispyness.... oh well, if you find it it's yours. + |
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Drunken baking [21]? I'm impressed with your clarity. If I'm drunk on
the Bakery I invariably come across a little, shall we say, obtuse. |
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I did find the croissant though, thanks. However, it was a Turkish
doner meat and chilli sauce-filled croissant, and half eaten at that. And
it was on the floor, behind the sofa. Next to a puddle of sick, a mobile
phone with the keypad removed and a traffic cone. |
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But I appreciate the thought. |
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<presses big red button and hands [theleopard] a croissant> |
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Wasn't my pile of sick... I was drinkin on an empty stomach (which by the way is NOT a fun thing to do) and had nothing to throw up. Didn't drink that much anyway, just enough to help me fall alseep. But let me tell ya, when you realize you've been drinking 80-proof vodka when you thought you were drinking 60-proof, a whole lotta stuff suddenly makes a lot more sense. |
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Must have been one of those pesky flocking traffic cones, got lost behind the chaise lounge. |
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It would be awesome if there were a karaoke bar that had good lighting. Not like the blacklight, little colorball spinning thing, and a disco ball. Like.. Laser light shows,giant screens, strobe lights, smoke, confetti cannons, a whole top name concert setup. There would have to be some sort of cover charge, and probably expensive drinks also. Maybe they could even run your voice through a harmonizer to make it sound like your on key. |
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//Maybe they could even run your voice through a harmonizer to make it sound like your on key// |
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That would take the fun out of the whole experience, though. |
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Worked for Cher, I Believe... |
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I mean it would make it less fun for your friends in the audience making fun of you for being so off-key. That's what karaoke's all about! |
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You could have it as a paid item.Something like 20 dollars extra for it to be on your songs the rest of the night. Kinda high to dissuade too much use of it, but not to high for those people who wanna feel like a rockstar, but just cant sing. But it would be pretty funny to have a huge overdone opening with lasers and the works, then someone come out and completely butcher (lyrically and tonally) "Hotel California" |
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That, rascal, is exactly what folks in the audience would likely be willing to pay a cover to see. |
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That could increase the quality of the performances to audience. [+] |
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