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Sticky Lesbian TV Holograms

 TV made marginally more interesting.
  (+10, -9)
(+10, -9) 		  [vote for,
against]

I might have about 576 TV channels, but - by gum - don't we all have those moments when there's simply NOTHING ON the telly?

Now you need no longer slake your thirst for passive gratification by catching the ten-minute freeview on the adult channels in the blind hope that they might show a bit of thigh - not with Sticky Lesbian TV Holograms!

They're a bit like the 'holograms' you get in cereal packets, where repeated twisting causes the image to move. Except they're 12 inches square and stick to your TV screen.

Now you can liven up those historical documentaries, local news bulletins and episodes of the X-Files by sticking a large semi-dynamic picture of two middle-aged women right in the middle of the screen and stare at it while oscillating your head to achieve the 'movement' effect.

It's the way forward.

—kpx, Sep 04 2001

Television Themes http://www.halfbake...Television_20Themes
Lesbians (sticky or otherwise) on *every* channel. Holograms (sticky or otherwise) not included. [phoenix, Sep 04 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Gay-o-meter http://www.channel4.com/life/
Some interesting stuff about sexuality. [DrBob, May 01 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Just putting on my insulated Mylar suit and slipping into the cellar with the supply of bottled water, bottled oxygen, bottled food and dark glasses. I've bottled out of this one.
—UnaBubba, Sep 04 2001
   

       [UnaBubba]: Welcome to the cellar. Swap you a rat on a stick for one of your bottles of water.
—st3f, Sep 04 2001
   

       'Ere, is it toasted but?
—UnaBubba, Sep 04 2001
   

       [UB]: Toasted? It's flame-grilled!
—st3f, Sep 04 2001
   

       Oh, well tha's diff'rent then. I'll 'ave two! Wot do I owes ya for this 'ere little treat? Got any HP sauce?   

       [St Threef], would this be a hot dagwood rat I see before me?
—UnaBubba, Sep 04 2001
   

       [UB]: you accent's slipping. First yorkshire then Dick Van Dyke/Dickensian street urchin sliding into a one line only Shakesearian tone:
Is this a hot dagwood rat I see before me,
the handle toward my hand.
Come let me clutch thee.
I have thee not and yet I see thee still.
Art thou real, or art thou but a dagwood rat of the mind <or something like that/>
—st3f, Sep 04 2001
   

       My most humble apologies to thee for such perturbation as disturb'st thine peaceful slumbers e'er I shed my immortal characterisations unbidden. Didst thou peel said rat before thou cook'st his frail carcasse o'er thine guttering, insipid flame?
—UnaBubba, Sep 05 2001
   

       nah, the furz stiyl ohn mait? Ya want sum ved-gee-might with that? (and so the marmite/vegemite wars are rekindled)   

       <aside>What's the point of a flame proof bunker if you bring a flame-thrower with you.</aside>   

       (lights cigarette with pilot light of flame-thower and gets on with serious business of toasting rats. Coughs violently remembering that he doesn't smoke. Drops rat. Recovers rat and drops flame-thower. Sets fire to shoe. Recovers flame-thrower and offers rat to nearest half-baker with wide grin. Puts out fire on shoe.)
—st3f, Sep 05 2001
   

       Have 3D lesbian hologram spectacles or contact lenses instead - take them everywhere you go, oscillate your head and see lesbians as you shop, as you put petrol in your car, etc.
—Jim, Sep 05 2001
   

       <Stairway to Heaven mode>o'er thine guttering, insipid flame</Stairway to Heaven mode>
—UnaBubba, Sep 06 2001
   

       Ya know, I suspect that the oh-so-feminine, heavily coifed and made-up people seen in woman-on-woman pornography *aren't really lesbians!* I know this would come as a terrible shock to teenaged boys everywhere. While there are lesbians I quite like there's really no question of *fancying* them, eh? And vice versa.   

       [Mephista--you posted while I was writing--aren't the Mylar pyjamas and bomb shelter references to a likely flamefest breaking out over this obviously inflammatory post?]
—Dog Ed, Sep 06 2001
   

       There's a lot of potential here Mephista.   

       Something suitably arthouse. Rip off a popular film title, "The (rat's) Lair Bitch Project". Make it less than 20 minutes duration, sell it to SBS television in Australia, PBS in the US.   

       Twist: The "lesbians" are a metaphor for the incestuous, perverted political masters "fucking" the planet to death. Of course, none of this is apparent to the viewer and has to be inferred from the nonexistent plot. Finally, Mylar-pyjamaed halfbakers emerge from shelters, sated on medium-rare, Chinese five spice rat to a post-apocalyptic wasteland. At least the internet still works!
—UnaBubba, Sep 06 2001
   

       I have fond memories of growing up in the woods as a young cub, eating rats and dodging hags. Must say, I much prefer the taste of chicken.   

       //male equivalent of lesbianism// - an interestingly ambiguous phrase, Mephista. Men who want to have sex with men, men who want to have sex with women, or men who want to have sex with lesbians? Or is there some of that weird, girly *love* stuff involved?   

       BTW, do hetero women have the same *thang* about gay men as hetero men have about lesbians? If so, why, fer Pete's sake?
—Guy Fox, Sep 06 2001
   

       Mephisto's right, Lesbians and gay men are quite different, especially from an emotional perspective.   

       But back to the question: the "male equivalent of lesbianism" can be the found between fraternity brothers. 'Course there isn't much sex (unless they're really drunk), but the emotional dimension - "I'd take a bullet for you" comraderie - is similar, IMHO. :0
—danrue, Sep 06 2001
   

       Whose bullet?   

       What happened to the rats?
Is there homosexuality amongst rats?
Do they rat on each other in relationships?
Do all rats have a 'dirty' streak?
Do they succumb to their latent desires when they're rat-assed?
Does anyone give a rat's?
—UnaBubba, Sep 06 2001
   

       Am I the only person who knows that mylar isn't fireproof?   

       SaintThreef, everybody knows that ketchup goes with rats, not vegemite.
—StarChaser, Sep 08 2001
   

       No, SC. But it reflects heat fairly well. It's now been outmoded by Thermo-Lite ®. People still use the generic name Mylar, which is a DuPont trademark I think. Anyway, Thermo-Lite is effective up to about 750 degF or so. Everything has a melting point, everything.
—UnaBubba, Sep 08 2001
   

       What's the melting point of electricity?
—bristolz, May 01 2002
   

       Electricity doesn't actually exist. It's just a construct of our collective imagination.
—UnaBubba, May 01 2002
   

       What's the melting point of collective imagination?
—bristolz, May 01 2002
   

       Same as ice cream.
—st3f, May 01 2002
   

       Disagreement.
—UnaBubba, May 01 2002
   

       Could one say that electricity 'melts' at the temperature at which the electromagnetic force unifies with the weak force?
—Dog Ed, May 01 2002
   

       Apparently one could, though with what degree of justification remains open.
—angel, May 01 2002
   

       Channel 4 (UK TV station) have been running some interesting programmes over the last few weeks, one of which backs up Mephista's bit about why women are attracted to gay men. I've added a link. The gay-o-meter is entertaining but a bit silly. Apparently I'm 'way too straight for the modern world'. Oh why am I so repressed! If only I was a bit more gay, I'd be fighting the women off in droves.
—DrBob, May 01 2002
   
      
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