Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.

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Swiss Army Boots

Be a real life Maxwell Smart
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This would be a set of boots (winter boots, ski boots, work boots) that have hard, cup-shaped removable pieces that can be stored over the toes. The two of them can be assembled together to produce a wide scoop.

In the side of the boot (or stored in the heel), there would be tubing that would attach as a handle (either telescoping or screws together like a pool cue).

Yours for only 3 easy payments of $9.95. But wait, there's more! Act now and you also get additional attachments which store to the sides or within various parts of the heel.

An ice scraper attachment for that same tube handle.

Two one-way valves into and out of the air-soles, with a piece of tubing and every step you take can help inflate a tire or air-mattress.

A toe-controlled dual-kickstand that deploys out of the boot, with adjustable heights to act as a poor-man's cruise control while driving.

Bottle cap opener (the obligatory multi-tool feature).

Mister P, Feb 12 2008

Swiss Army Bagpipes http://www.google.c...B%3Aofficial&hs=Bfd
I don't think anyone's done this one yet. [zen_tom, Feb 13 2008]

Swiss Army Hairnet http://www.google.c...my+Hairnet%22&meta=
Nor this one. [theleopard, Feb 13 2008]

Swiss Army Boots http://www.wephaus....ages/ballyboots.jpg
[skinflaps, Feb 13 2008]

Swiss Army cosmetic bag http://www.sharperi...best.com/tr311.html
[xandram, Feb 14 2008]

[link]






       Naked Gun made the same joke with the Swiss Army Shoe.
theleopard, Feb 13 2008
  

       Swiss army boots already exist.They're standard issue in the Swiss Armed Forces.
skinflaps, Feb 13 2008
  

       //Be a real life Maxwell Smart// I'm flattered. But is this really a wise objective?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 13 2008
  

       Much like the links, I couldn't find a match when I Googled "Swiss Army Condoms".
Canuck, Feb 14 2008
  

       That's because their mostly Catholics.
theleopard, Feb 14 2008
  

       Sorry guys, I'll check out my ideas more thoroughly before posting next.   

       Swiss Army Bagpipes would be great! My first move would be to attach a different instrument.
Mister P, Feb 14 2008
  

       Bone recinded following that anno.
theleopard, Feb 14 2008
  

       I've been eagerly awaiting the Swiss Army Cosmetic Pen with mascara brush, eyeliner, nail file, etc.
xandram, Feb 14 2008
  

       Or a Swiss Army Army Army....
skinflaps, Feb 15 2008
  
      
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