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Swordfish Fighting

  [vote for,

A scuba-garbed matador with a rapier and a pissed off, riled-up swordfish alone in a VERY large, glass-walled aquarium. No picadors. Bring it.
21 Quest, Mar 13 2010

Swordfish http://en.m.wikiped...rdfish_skeleton.jpg
[21 Quest, Mar 13 2010]

No SCUBA , only snorkel and speargun http://www.freedive...ilfish_atlantic.htm
Current and previous world record [normzone, Mar 13 2010]

Satellite tracking and diving behaviour of sub-adult narwhals http://www.springer...t/j772926281631131/
One of the other hits calls them 'Ice Unicorns' [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Mar 14 2010]


       At a cursory glance, i would say yes, but i would like to know what swordfish swords are made of and how strong they are. They're also more rapiers than swords.
nineteenthly, Mar 13 2010


       (And, according to Mr. Wiki's pedia, the pointy bit is often used for slashing - wouldn't this make it a sword rather than a rapier?)
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 13 2010

       Touche, [MB]!
nineteenthly, Mar 13 2010

       It’d represent an interesting “cutting room floor” alternative scene from Pulp Fiction: Bruce Willis looks up and brings down a swordfish.
Ian Tindale, Mar 13 2010

       not a Narwhal?
theircompetitor, Mar 13 2010

       I used to mix those up as a child. A narwhal definitely is a rapier though, or possibly some kind of screw attached to a dwarf sperm whale.

       How about sawfish?
nineteenthly, Mar 13 2010

       One word: electric eel
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 13 2010

       The matador gets a rapier. Not the swordfish. Actually, watching the matador attempt to wield a 6-ft claymore underwater would be even more worth it.
21 Quest, Mar 13 2010

       Could there maybe be some kind of superorganism consisting of various badass animals strapped together, so there's a bundle of narwhal, swordfish and electric eel with something really poisonous or something, and you just drop someone in there with it and they have to avoid being simultaneously stabbed, eaten, poisoned and electrocuted? Or is that just silly?
nineteenthly, Mar 13 2010

       Not if the prize money was high enough.


       I thought about narwhals, but I don't think they're aggressive enough. Kinda hard to rile up, I imagine. I dunno, though. Any whale trainers in the room?
21 Quest, Mar 13 2010

       I think if an animal is big enough, it could be more inadvertently dangerous than specifically ferocious. They weigh a ton and a half and they're over four metres long.
nineteenthly, Mar 13 2010

       compared to the swordfish's "measly" 300 lbs. If the swordfish was trained to thrust as well as parry, you'd have shishkescubab pretty quick.
FlyingToaster, Mar 13 2010

       //shishkescubab pretty quick//

       An 80 km/hr shishkescubab. Holy crap.   

       //Any whale trainers in the room?//

       Why yes, I ...

pertinax, Mar 14 2010

       Is it in order to consider the velocity and the mass of the projectiles? I can't find any information on how hard narwhals swim, but i suppose the big issue is whether they can be induced to swim at one with their horns aimed. They don't look as streamlined as swordfish for a start, and weigh about twice as much.
nineteenthly, Mar 14 2010

       Copied from [link]

       //Three juvenile narwhals captured during August 1998 in the northeast of Svalbard, Norway, were equipped with satellite-relayed data loggers (SRDLs) that transmitted diving and swim-speed data, in addition to location, for up to 46 days. A total of 1,354 complete dive cycles were recorded. Most of the diving was shallow and of short duration. Maximum recorded dive depth was 546 m, maximum recorded dive duration was 24.8 min, and maximum recorded swim-speed was 4.7 ms&#8722;1. Ascent speed, vertical ascent speed, descent speed and vertical descent speed were all significantly higher during deep dives (>200 m) than for shallow dives (<200 m). In addition both ascent and descent angles were much steeper for deep dives than during shallow dives. Most of the shallow diving seemed to be associated with travelling, with the animal shifting between various locations, while the deep diving (often to the bottom) for extended periods in some specific areas might have been associated with foraging. Even though the sample size in this study is small, the data are the first information available for movements and diving behaviour of narwhals near Svalbard.//   

       4.7 ms? As in meters per second?
21 Quest, Mar 14 2010

       hmm that didn't copy correctly.
It says 4.7 ms-1. I'm not sure what the -1 signifies.

       //One word: electric eel//

Oh dear! Such an elementary maths error from an alleged scientist. I'm afraid, Maxwell, that you will have to stand in the corner and face the wall until lunchtime.
DrBob, Mar 14 2010

       // I'm not sure what the -1 signifies// it signifies 'per' as in m/s, meters per second.
ms without the -1 would indicate 'meter-seconds' which would be a measure not of speed but of (for example) taxi usage.

       Consider the difference between 100 man-hours, and 100 men per hour.
pocmloc, Mar 15 2010

       //Consider the difference between 100 man-hours, and 100 men per hour//

       Covered in the first chapter of Intro to Physics for Halbakers ...
MikeD, Mar 15 2010

       //the first chapter of Intro to Physics for Halbakers//
"The AI on/off switch is conveniently located in the centre of mass of the electronics. Have a nice flight" ?
FlyingToaster, Mar 15 2010

MikeD, Mar 15 2010

       The "-1" convention is pretty lame in most circumstances considering "/" takes up less room and is more in line with the spoken "per"... that and my keyboard doesn't do superscripts well.
FlyingToaster, Mar 15 2010

       Very true, but it looks all modern and "scientific" and also weeds out the ignorami who have to ask what it is there for.
pocmloc, Mar 15 2010

       Ah, well, see I read that as ingorigami on the brochure and thought we got to make these little foldy pretty things but since there was no refund...   


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