Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Synchronised Drowning

synchronised swimming makeover
  (+14, -5)(+14, -5)
(+14, -5)
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Few people really take synchronised swimming seriously, despite the obvious skill, concentration and dedication of the competitors. The idea is to choreograph a new piece that will re-focus attention and have the audience on the edge of their seats.

You begin by recruiting a non-swimmer with the promise of a large cheque, and the total assurance that they will not be allowed to drown during what follows. In a private pool you film your willing volunteer as they struggle to keep their head above water in a desperate attempt to avoid drowning, only rescuing them at the last possible moment. Multiple cameras record every spluttering nuance and expression of panic. They go away happy with their fat cheque, and you go away with your training film. Months of dedicated instruction ensue for your team, based on the detailed film.

At the next event your team begins by performing normally, but suddenly there is a change as the swimmers simultaneously switch over to Synchronised Drowning. Their carefully controlled smiles are replaced by identically matching expressions of total panic. They thrash in the water and wave their arms around in a detailed replication of the drowning man. The audience begin to stand up and scream, but are simultaneously transfixed by the fact that this is all achieved in perfect symmetry. The event concludes with synchronised rescue and resuscitation.

xenzag, Nov 11 2005

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       Yes, this would be funny if it were to happen halfway through a synchronised swimming thingummy, but the drowning man bit isn't. Drowing people will grab onto anything nearby to help themselves, whether it be floating toys, life rings, or other people. This could put other people at risk.   

       And I doubt a big cheque is going to make up for the fact that some poor sod has just nearly drowned while other people are watching.
froglet, Nov 11 2005
  

       Title: brilliant. Idea: less so. No vote.
wagster, Nov 11 2005
  

       I thought this might have been about lemmings.
bristolz, Nov 11 2005
  

       this would be brilliant! if synchromised swimming really wants to develop, it needs to move closer towards theatre, adding drama and narrative, treating sequences more as dance or plays, rather than just choreography.   

       as for the drowning guy, if he's agreed to it, i really don't see the problem.   

       synchronised soggy croissant for you
daaisy, Nov 11 2005
  

       The knowledge that drowned persons can be jumpstarted if you get to them within a few minutes seems unlikely to lure a lot of participants to the sport.
normzone, Nov 11 2005
  

       Pun in search of an Idea.   

       I just wish I had gotten to this before you :)
DesertFox, Nov 12 2005
  

       nice for the first time played, thanks to the element of surprise; also nice the following times if played in an aquarium right after the doplhin training show, in order to suggest the undoubtful animal supremacy over humans. btw, could you make them wear clown costumes ?
sweet, Nov 13 2005
  

       synchronized wading, so those who cant swim can participate
theircompetitor, Nov 13 2005
  

       I think it's hilarious.
Darkelfan, Nov 13 2005
  

       "Bah" to the nay-sayers. This is a [xenzag] classic and earns my bun.   

       May I suggest a synchronised rendition of the Titanic disaster?
theleopard, Aug 30 2007
  
      
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