Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tarmac the Thames

Overdue
 
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Most of London's rivers, like the Fleet, are now subterranean.

So why not cover over the Thames too?

Upstream of London Bridge, the size of vessels is already highly restricted. Modern civil engineering can easily build single spans the width of the river.

A huge amount of valuable real estate would be created. Extra roadways will reduce congestion. Building vast car parks into the structure will be another benefit.

The coverage would extend westward at least as far as Staines, if not further.

8th of 7, Jun 14 2019

This with bitumen? https://www.youtube...watch?v=ehhRtdrWjIk
Walk, cycle, just don't drive. [wjt, Jun 15 2019]

[link]






       Necromunda, the beginnings?
Skewed, Jun 14 2019
  

       The excess water could be used to flood the totally hopeless tube system which is only used by the rich and stupid.
xenzag, Jun 14 2019
  

       I think you'll find the rich and stupid use taxis. I know I do.   

       One drawback of this scheme is that it would spoil an excellent joke, viz: "Holmes! You've fallen into the river of a major European capital!" "No I haven't, Watson, I'm completely dry." "Holmes, your inthames!"
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 14 2019
  

       // the rich and stupid use taxis. I know I do. //   

       Yes, [MB], but they travel *IN* the taxis, not merely to bring up fresh footmen when the ones carrying your sedan chair collapse from hunger and exhaustion.   

       Please, stop pretending you understand how the lower orders live their lives. It's just embarrassing ...
8th of 7, Jun 14 2019
  

       And yet strangely not as embarrassing as what the Intercalary tells me he saw you doing last Thursday. He says he hopes you wash your hands before you come to our Onesimos Nesib buffet and whale-tag next week. I did explain to him that diseases are unlikely to make such a large species jump, but he's not convinced.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 14 2019
  

       Don't be volga.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 15 2019
  

       It takes 8-10 hours to cross the 80 km (50 miles) of the Panama Canal. This could probably done in an hour by road.
4and20, Jun 17 2019
  

       ugh.
po, Jun 17 2019
  

       Errr, try tarmacing the river bed first, if it's successful, then maybe try doing the the top bit?
not_morrison_rm, Jun 17 2019
  

       They tried this in Paris, but it was considered too in-Seine.
zen_tom, Jun 17 2019
  

       I am in-Clyde to croissant this idea, assuming the tarmacing is extended to beyond the limits of the riparian and to the far ends of our Kingdom's great metropolis.
calum, Jun 17 2019
  

       So tarmac London [calum]?   

       Would this be a sort of dome or do we bulldoze the awkward bits (like the buildings) first?
Skewed, Jun 17 2019
  

       I don't care how you do it, just get it Don.
calum, Jun 17 2019
  

       I was friends with a bulldoze-driver, called Don. He had a tiny friend who lived in his breast pocket. A real child of the 70's, always wearing bright clothes, and tuning in, dropping out, and otherwise living the freedom-loving dreams of yesteryear. Turns out, as Ray was bulldozing away one day, he hit a bump with so much force, he was jolted into the steering wheel such that his magical ambassador of post- war counter-culture was instantly crushed. I've always liked Don, but I miss-his-hippy.
zen_tom, Jun 17 2019
  

       Easily the best pun set forth in this thread, well played!
calum, Jun 17 2019
  

       Yalu? Zambezi Murray, Darling. Congo Rhone ... Waal, Yukon try later.
pertinax, Jun 18 2019
  

       [zen], can you tell Dom [calum] has a job for him?
Skewed, Jun 18 2019
  

       Bravo, pertinax!
calum, Jun 18 2019
  

       Will you lot stop Tyne to be funny ? It's getting a bit Tees-dious, not to say Wear-ing ...
8th of 7, Jun 18 2019
  

       @pertinax <that gif of Leonardo Di Caprio lifting up a champagne coupe>   

       @8th <gif of that wrestling entrance where the besuited wrestler (with appropriately superimposed face) comes animatedly striding in with a great deal of confidence and bravado>
zen_tom, Jun 18 2019
  
      
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