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Teach Wild Apes Sign Language

So they can tell poachers and loggers to leave them alone
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Most of the inter-species conflicts happening in the recent past have been a result of misunderstandings. Humans might want to cut a forest down, but animals are unable to articulate that they were already living there except by screeching, biting, and throwing their own feces.

If people were to teach a certain number of wild apes sign language, they would pass it on to their children and spread the behavior. This would do a lot to mend the misunderstandings between humans and apes and to bring about cooperation rather than competition. Then the apes might have a better chance of survival if they could at least communicate in some way.

Of course, you might just have chimps walking into towns and demanding things like potato chips and silly hats, or forming a complex and technologically advanced society that would eventually rule the world and enslave humans.

discontinuuity, Apr 12 2006

maybe try wearing one of these to teach them sign language http://www.nightmar...=goto&search=action
scroll all the way down to see the giant banana! [xandram, Apr 12 2006]

(?) get past the ads on this and there's real info on animal communication http://www.fortunec...ord/73/opening.html
[xandram, Apr 12 2006]

Ishmael http://www.amazon.c.../product/0553078755
Talking gorilla asks philosophical questions. [DrCurry, Apr 13 2006]

(?) http://www.palisade...x.cfm?Story_ID=1321 If you are in a hurry just skip to the fourteenth paragragh. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 14 2006]

[link]






       Amusing, but impossible:   

       1. Too many chimps, too little time.   

       2. The poachers would just shoot them anyway, even if they did understand the sign language.
Germanicus, Apr 12 2006
  

       "So they can tell poachers and loggers to leave them alone"   

       As noted on one of my other ideas, I think you should consider arming them first. They'll catch up to the language part sooner or later.
DrCurry, Apr 12 2006
  

       //As noted on one of my other ideas, I think you should consider arming them first. They'll catch up to the language part sooner or later.//   

       Ah, reminiscent of my long-deleted Gorilla Warfare, about exactly that.
DesertFox, Apr 12 2006
  

       Teaching them sign language would be useful, as the increasing cancer-like infiltration of almost every patch of land on the planet by roads and their accompanying murdering machines also form a stream of semantically loaded graphic litter (usually on inconsiderately positioned metal posts) that the apes could derive meaning from.
Ian Tindale, Apr 12 2006
  

       Idea corollary No 1: Teach poachers and loggers sign language so they can understand the highly-educated yet not completely civilised if judging by our standards primates.
methinksnot, Apr 12 2006
  

       I don't remember where I read it, (probably fiction) but someone said Some of the Apes CAN talk. They just don't because they understand that if man finds out, that man will put the apes to work.
Zimmy, Apr 13 2006
  

       There's a talking gorilla in the linked book, but he's not exactly wild.
DrCurry, Apr 13 2006
  

       "Wild? I was livid!"
Ian Tindale, Apr 13 2006
  

       Dr. Gary Shapiro beat you to it with released Orangutans in Borneo. [link]
Now if Dolphins only had hands. Hmmmmmm.
  
      
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