Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Termite router

Munched signage
  (+34)(+34)(+34)
(+34)
  [vote for,
against]

In much the same fashion as a printed circuit board is designed, your piece of wood is impregnated with a chemical pattern which has areas of attraction and repulsion for termites.

After applying the termites, their progress is monitored for a period of time. When they have finished their work, they are rapidly retired via some means, such as irradiation / heat / cold / pressure / vacuum / chemicals / predators / being shifted to a new workpiece.

My insectly gnawed "Welcome" sign stands out in high relief. And if the termites could read, they would have realized they were lied to.

lurch, Sep 26 2006

[link]






       Genius! Lying to termites is good, folks, they're little bastards and they deserve it... <twitch><mumble> I was there, you know, I mean, on the receiving end of a terrifying programme of psychological warfare from termites, they would eat a novel before I could finish it </mumble></twitch>
Azazello, Sep 26 2006
  

       what [Azazello] said
pertinax, Sep 26 2006
  

       Yeah, you just need to add an IP address to them and...what was the question, again?
Ling, Sep 26 2006
  

       They would make better rep-eaters, shirley. (Sorry.)
Shz, Sep 26 2006
  

       cool +
xandram, Sep 26 2006
  

       Croissant for idea, supercroissant for the fun-to-sayness of the idea subtitle.
calum, Sep 26 2006
  

       This'd never work. You'd never get them to go down the ethernet cables.
Ian Tindale, Sep 26 2006
  

       I had an idea a while back for a Termite Power tool - never fleshed it out and don't need to now, because this is much better. Get your termites to chew on this +
xenzag, Sep 26 2006
  

       The steampunk in me likes the idea of termite circuit boards, but our vendors have long enough lead times to supply us in the old fashioned manner. (+)
normzone, Sep 26 2006
  

       Write it, and I will vote.
normzone, Sep 26 2006
  

       [Lurch] Maybe I'm wrong, but I think, that if at this point in your life , you are having a problem with termites, little signs ain't gonna work. But I will vote yes only because I picture you putting up little signs with your right hand, with your medication in the other.
SuperHole, Sep 26 2006
  

       Chocolate might work. How can they not like chocolate?   

       Darn. I thought this was a Thermite Router
BunsenHoneydew, Sep 29 2006
  

       ... So did I.   

       Have you posted it yet? .. Hello [8th of 7]...
Custardguts, Oct 03 2011
  

       I wonder if you could do this by routering out the sign with the smallest possible bit, then gluing a nonchewable surface flat against it and releasing the termite. I assert the termites will chew against the place where there already is some damage, enlarging the routed space and giving the illusion of organicity.
bungston, Oct 03 2011
  
      
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