The Death Bauble

“No! Baaad cat! No! Gerrof! Get DOWN! No, you’ll-”

CRAAAASH!!!!!

Now the christmas tree is on it’s side, baubles and tinsel lie scattered asunder, the water from the reservoir has soaked into the presents and the needles are growing from the carpet. Children are crying, adults are using words they shouldn’t and tranquillity has fled the building. The cat is cowering under the dresser, tail like a bog brush, quivering. Somewhere in the back of his unfathomable cat-brain, underneath the terror and panic, he is planning how he will recreate this chaos after all has been put right.

Night time. The tree stands alone in all it’s glory, the lights casting a glow over the whole room, the decorations glinting seductively. Two eyes appear from around the kitchen door and blink slowly, appraising the tree and measuring the challenge. Then comes the soft, slow padding of paws, as if the tree might run if he approaches too quickly. Then a small whirring sound: a bauble spins round, stops and spins a little more, aligning itself. Facing the cat now is a small slot in the bauble, rising from the bottom to halfway up the side. A faint shaft of red light appears from the bottom of the slot ending in the bright red spot of a laser, glowing on the floor. Another small whirring sound and the spot moves out across the floor stopping in front of the cat’s two front paws, it dances a little as the bauble sways after the movement of the motor. Cat watches intently, ready to pounce. The spot moves left, then right, then left and then darts off behind the cat into the kitchen. Cat follows and hunts.

Ten minutes later the game finishes. The light winks out and the cat wanders out through the cat flap, all thoughts of christmas trees forgotten.