Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Door Path Beater

called “The World”, on its way to a better mousetrap
  (+5)
(+5)
  [vote for,
against]

I saw a strange thing, far away in a field.
As I ran and got closer, a machine was revealed.
It was a contraption that mowed down the grass,
Made with clippers, conveyors and pipes out of brass.
It rolled on a sphere of clear Plexiglas,
Full of water where swam two perch and a bass.
A belt sent the clippings (it was thick, bubble wrap)
Under a driver who was dressed in blue collar and cap.

The cut grass went up to a platform as chow,
To be eaten and converted by a chicken and cow.
The produce they produced, some milk and some eggs,
Was whisked to a processor behind their hind legs.
The eggs, all unlaid, boiled at one hundred degrees,
And the milked milk curdled into curls made of cheese.
At the rear of “The World” moved oscillating rakes
That Zen raked the sand like sidewinder snakes.

But the principal part was the giant fish bowl,
The reason to have it was to have that part roll.
Fins used for divers, each with a high heel,
Were stuck to the edge of this whopping big wheel.
The fins without feet made nearly complete
A path to a door, as they stamped and they beat.
Behind that far door was a better mousetrap
So beating a path means you won’t need a map!

FarmerJohn, Feb 06 2003

sketch http://www.geocitie...doorpathbeater.html
[FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

eating unlaid eggs, last paragraph http://worldanimal.net/lifeofhens.html
no [Mauidudi], not unhatched [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       will it beat the door mat while it is at it?
po, Feb 06 2003
  

       phew. I think I want a cigarette.
po, Feb 06 2003
  

       If you could invent a machine to find and appraise a better mouse trap, you'd be not inconsiderably popular.
kropotkin, Feb 06 2003
  

       Or maybe just, I dunno, MAKE one.
galukalock, Feb 06 2003
  

       Hehe. Now THAT's my kind of art.
bristolz, Feb 06 2003
  

       All out of ideas eh? This idea seems not to be a tangible machine, but your very mind, FJ. I'll croissant, because of the line ,"But the principal part was the giant fish bowl,/The reason to have it was to have that part roll."
ImBack, Feb 06 2003
  

       Loved this. Read it twice to myself, then once to my kids (+)
I see the autoboner's back.
  

       Err, confused laughter = croissant.
RoboBust, Feb 07 2003
  

       ImBack://All out of ideas eh?// It was more of a challenge from 8/7. They are often hard to resist.
FarmerJohn, Feb 07 2003
  

       I like the two perch and the bass, but I worry they'd get churned around. I also like the egg en route.
waugsqueke, Feb 07 2003
  

       // It was more of a challenge from 8/7. They are often hard to resist. //   

       How many times must we say it ? "Resistance Is Futile !"
8th of 7, Feb 07 2003
  

       [2_fries] - //I see the autoboner's back.// If only you could see its face, then all would be revealed.
PeterSilly, Feb 07 2003
  

       Hah! Yeah, my kids are gonna see that one tonight too. +
Shz, Feb 07 2003
  

       It would be nice to know the reasons why people vote against these sorts of ideas, particularly FJ's. It seems there is a fairly consistent -1 or -2 on most of his best ideas, and it shows up fairly early on in the voting.   

       Not that it matters. I take solace in the fact that "Panic PIN" has -41.
waugsqueke, Feb 07 2003
  

       Yup, the kids loved it [FJ]. Off to find bristolz’ cat ejection picture now.
Shz, Feb 07 2003
  

       How on earth did I miss this one?
RayfordSteele, Jul 02 2003
  

       Sheer brilliance, FJ!
cp, Jul 03 2003
  

       Ha! A better mousetrap indeed. Have a bun Johnny!
DrBob, Jul 04 2003
  

       (+)
silverstormer, Jul 04 2003
  

       (+) Definately, but ... unlaid ... or unhatched?
Mauidudi, Dec 09 2003
  

       How about adding a shark to speed things a little up?
fh, Mar 25 2004
  

       This would make an excellent Halfbakery Tournament of Roses Parade entry.
RayfordSteele, Jan 01 2005
  

       Awesome. [+] But, not an idea... But the best wasted post I've seen, ever. If you are going to waste a post, do it with this kind of imagination.
daseva, May 31 2005
  
      
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