h a l f b a k e r y
If you can read this you are not following too closely.
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Are you a gothic/satanist/insurance salesperson and lost in a dense woodland after a faux ritual sacrifice to your lord Baphomet/Anton La Vey/Martha Stewart etc, with no way back to your Bauhaus records other than the bread crumbs you scattered in the dark ala the Hansel & Gretel wilderness survival
guide you mistakenly bought instead of your GPS system?
Then this might just be for you. Remove the cap, and a miniature replica head of a scar-ridddled, Satan posessed Reagan from the popular 1973 film 'The Exorcist', spins wildly atop a palm-sized compass.
Every time her head spins slowly towards true north, a voice sample emanates from a little microphone in her mouth area - "Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"
Be careful around the tops of stair cases.
[link]
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I'm having a little trouble figuring out how you actually find your way with this. "...spins slowly towards true north" - that ain't possible, you know. (You can spin clockwise or anticlockwise, but not north.) |
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Then again, if this Satanic compass just keeps spinning, that would be enough for my croissant. |
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// voice sample eminates from a little microphone in her mouth area //Sound *from* a microphone? Feasible, yes, but then the mike would probably have a large magnet, and would screw up the compass. |
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It would spin a few times for effect, then slowly come to rest at north - and when you are also facing north it would then activate the blasphemy etc. so in the dark, as long as reagan was spouting unholy words, you know you're going in the right direction. |
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which is probably straight to hell. |
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*Satan* lives at the North Pole? I didn't know you were dyslexic. |
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"I saw Mummy sucking Satan,
Underneath the Christmas tree,
I saw Mummy sucking Satan,
But I don't think either one saw me." |
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