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Stealing toilet paper is one of the cheapest* and easiest ways of obtaining toilet paper. However, toilet rolls are big and round and hard to surreptitiously smuggle out of your office or place of education.
This is where the Toilet Paper Thief comes in. Disguised as a hardback book, it attaches
to the wall above or below the toilet roll dispenser. Small robot arms pull the paper out and neatly fold it into a flat form that will fit in any ring binder or briefcase. When you get home you can optionally set the TPT above your own empty toilet roll dispenser, and it will refill your TP supply. Alternatively, just use the paper in the handy flat format.
Because it is disguised as a book, the Toilet Paper Thief can be easily hidden in the library at your office or college, disguised as some uninteresting and unread tome like "Windows 3.0 Made Easy", "Advanced Tofu Manufacturing Techniques" or the Dusseldorf Yellow Pages** (in fact, in most libraries, 99% of books are never read). Anyone who is in on the secret can easily borrow it to steal a supply of toilet paper and return the book for the next thief to use.
(Apols if wrong category, but I couldn't find a "Product: Tool: For criminals" type thing.)
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*or at least cheapest at the point of purchase. No liability will be accepted if you are caught, publicly exposed and known as Mr Cheap Shitty Bum for the rest of your life.
**assuming you don't live in Dusseldorf or work in a tofu factory.
[link]
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If you can't afford to buy gourmet toilet paper, you probably can't afford this product. |
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I aint shittin' with no one ply, man. |
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just use the backside of your left hand....:) |
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The idea of sticking such a book in a library for all to borrow is beautiful. + |
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this can give a whole new meaning to the term 'paper jam'. besides do you really need to go to jail for that?? |
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Why steal it when people are probably willing to loan/give it to you for free? If you see a janitor restocking the bathrooms in an office building you could probably bum a roll of of him. He will probably assume that you work in the building and he will give it to you no questions asked. Then make your rounds to every building in your area until you have a 2 to 3 year supply. When you go visit friends, relatives, etc., humbly ask them for a roll as you are leaving citing that you need to handle your business immediately when you get home. Surely they would rather let you take a roll of TP home with you vs. letting you utilize their restroom for the next 45 mintues. |
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When I "Borrow a roll" I just pull the cardboard tube out of the middle. If the roll is anywhere near half full, then it will fold down to about the size of a large wallet, and fit in your back pocket. |
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"why's that guy wear a top hat all the time ?" |
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