h a l f b a k e r y
If you need to ask, you can't afford it.
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There are often plants in the bathroom, but these lack utility. There are at least three practical uses for them. Firstly, certain plants such as yuccas can absorb ammonia. Secondly, urine can be used to grow spirulina. Thirdly, and most importantly, plants with tomentose (fluffy) leaves can be
used to wipe. Hence i propose a large planter for the bathroom containing tomentose plants such as mullein, lamb's ear and black horehound for wiping, nourished by faeces-derived compost and saving on toilet paper, yuccas, spider plants and ivy to absorb odours, and a tank of spirulina containing appropriately diluted urine for nutritional purposes. This would bring the toilet closer to self-sufficiency. The toilet itself has two compartments: a urine collector at the front and a faeces collector at the back. The composting process would be aided by the discarded leaves. Meanwhile, the urine is mixed with grey water and sea salt in the appropriate proportions before being added to the spirulina tank. The entire toilet is flushed using grey water, which enters the cistern from the rest of the plumbing.
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am gonna rename my cat, tomentose - great name. |
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This sounds like it would reek something fierce! - |
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The tank with the spirulina could be sealed and vent to the outside, and the composted faeces would be quite well-rotted by the time they were applied to the planter. Also, the plants would absorb some of the remaining smell, so i don't think it would be that bad. The stools could be two years old by the time they were deposited in the planter. |
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are you going to clean the toilet with a cactus? |
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<pictures walking into a weird jungle-like environment>Cah cah! Cah cah! <-(bird noise) Ooh! Ahh! Ahh! <-(monkey noise) Oweeblkeee! Oweeblkeee! <-( I've no idea)<pwiwje> |
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I don't think my bathroom is big enough to contain all of this, it certainly doesn't have enough light. |
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So who's poop are the monkeys (monkies?) gonna be flinging? |
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The bathroom could be made of glass to provide more light. There would be no problem with privacy due to the shrubbery. |
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One problem - this system seems closed, like the dead sea. Everything comes in, nothing (solid) goes out. Put it in the middle of a field, and grow your own jungle, cos it's gonna need pruning unless it has a lot of space... [+] |
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Things do come out. The spirulina is eaten and the tomentose leaves, though they are returned to the system, may be removed faster than they can be replaced, which will probably kill some of the plants, which is actually one thing i dislike about this idea. This is an argument for a bigger bathroom rather than against it working. |
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Or you could poop outside. |
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What about the supporting animal life?
Bugs, maggots, things that belong in crap.
For being totally natural, I think I will bun.
Stil, this is absurd. But if you're the kind
of person who likes it all natural, it sounds
good. |
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There's always the bidet option to cut down on leaf consumption. I've seen a prototype of a two-chamber toilet on a web-video somewhere... wasn't too popular, but i imagine that was 'cuz guys would have to either aim or sit down; a urinal would help. Of course now you need a much larger bathroom, what with all the tanks and trees and porcelain. |
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[+] for making my doctor ask me why my ass is green. |
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