Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tow-away-away car

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The Tow-away-away car outwardly resembles a normal 4- door saloon, but differs from it in several respects.

First, it contains higher than the recommended levels of lead. In fact, about 18 tons of the stuff are built into the reinforced body. This does not improve the car's urban- cycle fuel consumption, but bear with me on this.

Third, tank-esque caterpillar tracks are fitted just inboard of the wheels, out of sight. It is these which bear the majority of the car's immense weight. This does not improve handling but, again, bear with me.

Fourth, tinted windows and a particularly low-slung driving position allow the driver to sit unobserved in the vehicle. A built-in espresso machine and sandwich dispenser provide sustenance for prolonged stakeouts.

Instructions for use: park up in a towaway zone, roll up the tinted windows, turn off the ignition, and wait.

As soon as the towtruck is securely coupled to the car, simply turn on the ignition and drive to your preferred destination (ideally, a dedicated barrier-controlled parking lot). The towtruck can then be released upon receipt of a suitable sum of money.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 29 2014

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       Rather than just dragging the tow truck, let it think it is towing you away until you drop a couple extra tons on the tow hitch, lifting its front tires enough to steer it fron behind and direct it over a shallow embankment off the edge of the road. When the truck driver catches his breath, he won't be quite sure what happened. He may also be somewhat worried that the car he was towing broke free and is nowhere to be seen, but he will be relieved when another tow truck stops to help him out (for a normal towing fee of course).
scad mientist, Jan 29 2014
  

       Brilliant! [+] Of course, the sum would have to be tidy enough to also cover the fuel expenses...
Grogster, Jan 29 2014
  
      
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