Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Like gliding backwards through porridge.

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Tummidom

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Although swallowing the weighted end of the MaxCo's Tummidom may take a little getting used to, once it is in place you will hardly know it's there. The throat-friendly adhesive band will keep the mouth of the Tummidom in place, and the thin silken removal cord will tuck comfortably into your cheek.

Finally, you can dine to the very limits of your capacity and budget, safe in the knowledge that all those trans-fats, sugars and salts can be whisked away post-prandially with the pull of a cord and a quick twist of the self-sealing neck.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 18 2013

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       So what happens after you seal the neck? Do you attempt to pull the now-full bag back up through your throat or do you somehow hope that the bag will pass through.   

       It seem like regurgitation would be an option, and the Tummidom would allow a long period between consumption and regurgitation without the risk of calorie absorbtion, but in that case it really doesn't need a self-sealing neck.
scad mientist, Jul 18 2013
  

       We recommend that the bag is sealed during the process of removal, but personal preferences are a matter of personal preference.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 18 2013
  

       How about making it a bit longer, and go all the way - such a tube would allow the food to pass unhindered 'twixt ingress and egress without, as it were, touching the sides.
zen_tom, Jul 18 2013
  

       Would your stomach acid leak up your esophagus with a string going up it? Couldn't you die if the string breaks? Hasn't this already been baked by someone smuggling drugs?   

       Wouldn't it be easier to invent a sterile tape worm with a limited lifespan? How about one that only eats fats or carbs depending on which one of the dieting gurus you listen to.
MisterQED, Jul 18 2013
  

       //Would your stomach acid leak up your esophagus with a string going up it?// The string is attached only to the next of the Tummidom, which is peelably adhesed around the top of the oesophagus. If the string breaks, fear not. Either wait for the Tummidom to biodegrade, after which you will feel a sudden surge of calories; or contact your local representative to arrange stringless removal.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 18 2013
  

       //How about making it a bit longer, and go all the way // We've had issues with speed of transit.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 18 2013
  

       Seems I remember Asimov having half baked one of these, in a scene from Caves of Steel with Elijah Bailey and R. Daneel Olivaw.
lurch, Jul 18 2013
  

       I dunno… Is it alcohol permeable? Or are you planning a companion product, the MaxCo tableside enema funnel?
ytk, Jul 18 2013
  

       //Seems I remember Asimov having half baked one of these// The Asimov robot could eat food to preserve appearances, and then remove it from a hatch in its abdoment, if I remember correctly. Sadly not an option for unmodified humans.   

       //Is it alcohol permeable?// Perfectly so.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 18 2013
  

       //from a hatch// yeah, that was what I was remembering - pull out the bag; "Hey, this food has been chewed, but otherwise it's still fine. Anybody want some?"
lurch, Jul 18 2013
  

       //Perfectly so.//   

       Well, thank God for that. Saves me from having to halfbake the enema thing.
ytk, Jul 18 2013
  

       as the science now appears to support, having the experience of eating food without the nutriment confuses and eventually defeats the body's normal responses to eating. Responses necessary to the safe consumption of food. Fool the brain into the pleasure of eating without the results and you will rapidly derail the whole food eating system. The two cannot be safely decoupled.
WcW, Jul 18 2013
  

       When my friend had throat cancer, he was fitted with a shunt that enabled nutrients to be delivered via a tube directly into his stomach. I often wondered what would happen if you used the delivery syringe to suck out, instead of pushing in.....?   

       Aside from that, I think a similar idea got posted here once before.
xenzag, Jul 19 2013
  

       // the MaxCo tableside enema funnel? //   

       // Saves me from having to halfbake the enema thing. //   

       You are anticipated ... however, the "appliance" that Sturton contrived to deal with Great-Uncle Threadbury's "Little Personal Difficulties" met with a somewhat mixed response. Its efficacy was difficult to dispute, and indeed we understand that it is still spoken of in hushed tones whenever protctological consultants assemble; but opinion is divided as to whether such a relatively intimate personal function is amenable to the "shock and awe" approach - at least, not more than once. Needless to say, Threadbury's interrment was of necessity a "closed-casket" ceremony, mostly due to the expression on his face which the morticians found impossible to modify, and not helped by the prolonged delay caused by four successive post-mortems and the subsequent intervention of senior U.N. weapons inspectors.   

       We understand that the only prototype example of the "Gastro-Intestinal Auto-Cleanutron", along with all the design drawings and components, was destroyed under international supervision. It's pure luck that Sturton didn't suffer the same fate; the "diminished responsibilty" defence isn't going to go on working forever (we hope).
8th of 7, Jul 19 2013
  

       //Threadbury's interrment was of necessity a "closed-casket" ceremony//   

       I am now, thanks to certain non-developments in the Far East, at liberty to reveal that Threedbury's "death" (please note the correct spelling*) was a necessary ruse. I am not, alas, yet at liberty to reveal further details, but if I say "fracking", "Cheshire" and "George Clooney", I believe you will know to what I am alluding. You will have noticed, I take it, that the price of tea has not changed lately?   

       *of "Threedbury", not of "death".
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 20 2013
  

       // I believe you will know to what I am alluding. //   

       Ahhhh ... now it becomes clear. Tenor or Alto ?   

       // You will have noticed, I take it, that the price of tea has not changed lately? //   

       Yes, and we had our suspicions, but up to now there was no actual confirmation. Such fluctuations are not, after all, uncommon.
8th of 7, Jul 22 2013
  

       //Tenor or Alto// At those pressures, heliox was of course the only option, so alto.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 22 2013
  
      
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