Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Two Kilowatt Spoon

Heat food one spoonful at a time
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Tired of waiting 2 minutes to microwave instant food? With the two kilowatt spoon, you heat the meal one bite at a time in seconds! Say you have 10 grams of water-based food on the spoon, and water takes ~ 4 J/g/C. At 2 kW, assuming 50% of the heat is transferred to the food, you'll raise that 10 grams of food from freezing to boiling in 4*100*10/1000 = 4 seconds. (If the food were frozen solid initially, that would be another 300J/g, or 3 kJ, or 3 more seconds, for a total of 7 seconds).

The food will of course be non-uniformly heated. Specifically, the closest bit of food may flash to steam and splatter. Tongue and mouth anesthetics are available to mitigate the effects of uneven heating and burns of the mouth and gums.

The two kilowatt spoon is not recommended for use by persons with a family history of intolerance to severe electric shock, or persons with thermal-shock intolerant teeth.

With our economy always-on model, it is recommended that a thermal shock resistant, electrically insulating cup of deionized water be prepared for quenching the spoon. Quenching should be performed when the spoon is observed to be radiating in visible wavelengths.

For customers lacking a conveniently located 20 amp outlet, our 18V cordless spoon features next-gen lithium ion batteries that have been demonstrated not to explode when heated above 70 C, and the volatile organic solvents that off-gas have not been shown by the state of California to cause cancer in every species. The four kilogram battery pack is guaranteed to supply enough energy for up to one small bowl of soup. Order today!

(The food-heating utensil has been baked already but are not so powerful. The point is speed.)

Ketchupybread, Sep 11 2013

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       Where can one acquire said spoon?
rcarty, Sep 11 2013
  

       What's not to like?   

       Maybe, with very careful design, you could craft a bowl and spoon combination out of suitably fissile materials such that placing the spoon in sufficient proximity to the bowl, given the neutron moderation effect of the mostly-water contents of the bowl, a relatively safe reactor could be created. Careful timing of the spooning motion would result in adequate but not excessive heating of the components.   

       An additional benefit would be the irradiation and subsequent sterilisation of the bowl contents.   

       Warning. The use of boron(10) salts in the food product would reduce the effciency of the heating mechansm.   

       Some personal protective equipment may be needed.
Custardguts, Sep 11 2013
  

       That's word for word what I was going to say [Custardguts] [+] for [Ketchupybread] if you add a straw version for liquids.
AusCan531, Sep 11 2013
  

       Yeah well our neutered government won't allow us any nuclear power, so the least we can have is personal nuclear food heating.
Custardguts, Sep 11 2013
  

       [+] You got me at the summary!! We just discussed cold food in my workplace cafeteria yesterday and this would be such a great solution. Also, for camping, eating in the car, and just thinking of scooping ice cream right out of the container!! (I know there are heated ice cream scoopers, but not like this!)
xandram, Sep 11 2013
  
      
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