Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ultimate Corporate Firewall

Invented by someone French, of course
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If you’ve ever dealt with network security (hackers, firewalls, viruses and so on), you know there is one ultimate trump card in an emergency: cut the cord! If a worm is running loose on your network, or a DoS attack is killing your server, sometimes it is just best to unplug from the Internet entirely until the problem is resolved.

Of course in a small network this is easy to do manually. But in a larger network the critical cable might be several floors away, hidden in the back of cluttered wiring closet.

And what if you are not on-site? You may have just gotten notice of the problem via a remote monitoring device on your pager, and nobody is in the office at this hour to unplug it. Seconds can count in emergencies!

For this device, a tiny electrically operated guillotine would be connected to a dedicated phone line. The critical cable is then threaded through the guillotine. When a problem occurs, you call the connected phone, punch in a security code, and the guillotine is “fired” through the cable, severing it. As confirmation on the phone line, a female voice with a French accent would say, “Let them eat cake!”

Obviously, less fanciful versions that didn’t involve a guillotine could be designed for boring corporate types to buy.

krelnik, Nov 16 2002

(Still) the Ultimate Firewall http://www.ranum.co...firewall/index.html
one security expert's idea [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

What is a DoS attack? http://www.webopedi...M/D/DoS_attack.html
[krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

It cuts a cigarette (or the T1 line), but not your finger. http://www.magictri...rodshow.asp?code=90
It's Maaaaaaagic. [Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Home version, includes timer http://www.engadget...y/8435433775586300/
Aug 13 2004: Here's another home version, that also includes a feature to automatically cut it off at a given time of day. [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       This should stop Spam, too. I'll take it!
Amos Kito, Nov 16 2002
  

       "Ce n'est pas le mot de passe. Au revoir." *click*
krelnik, Nov 16 2002
  

       The firewall machine will need a gas supply (or maybe just a little bottle of butane) so that when the cord is cut a mini "wall of fire" can spring up on top of the machine to alert everyone to what has happened.
hippo, Sep 24 2003
  

       Cool I can see brute force dialers at work now trying to figure out the code to cut your T1 (or other broadband connection) You could have a passcode lockout, but then a good hacker would lockout your account on the disconnect line right before attacking your network. Or you could always use caller ID verrification, but I here there are ways around that, and you would always have to call from the same phone.. I still give it a plus for creativity and humor.. -DL
dlapham, Jul 07 2004
  

       Everyday I'm more amazed at how people will take some easy mechanical action and turn it into a complicated, dangerous, and unsecure electronic one. If the "guillotine" was a part of a separate dedicated circuit, or just held up by a pin on a string, hackers couldn't reach it and make you shave yourself rather close.
Salmon v2, Jul 08 2004
  
      
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