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Van de Graaf Haircutting Aid

For out*standing* haircuts
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(Ok, I'll admit I was inspired by the [Van de Graaf for Dandruff] idea by [galukalock] (see [link]))

Imagine how much easier haircutting would be if all the hair stood up for the barber.

The haircuttee can sit barefeet on a chair with the VdG generator kissing his soles. The tiny charge could be operated by a switch in the barber's hands (or feet... wherever he finds it convenient!)

He could use plastic scissors (so as not to have a hair-raising experience himself) to snip away at the obedient strands of perpendicularly inclined hair.

Of course, every 'artist' likes to step back and view his work as it progresses; so all the barber has to do is to flick the switch and wait for the charge to disperse to see how his handiwork is shaping out.

Options: deluxe salons where the electric charge for the VdGgen is shared with that of individual tv sets/computer terminals in front of each customer.

joker_of_the_deck, Apr 20 2003

Van de Graaf for Dandruff by [galukalock] http://www.halfbake...af_20for_20Dandruff
[joker_of_the_deck, Oct 04 2004]

Flobie (also sp?) cut http://www.brendanv.../group/flobie/2.jpg
As found on a Google for "it sucks as it cuts" (Wayne's World) [friendlyfire, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       But my hair *always* stands up. :(
futurebird, Apr 20 2003
  

       I have visions of Jacob's Ladder sparks rising up out of the hapless tonsuree's head, and up the strands.   

       If you could manage that, it would be the coolest hairstyle in the history of the human head. Croissant.
friendlyfire, Apr 20 2003
  

       SORRY DUDE, but you're infringin' (insingin'?) on my Copyrighted HIRSUTE PURSUIT and POMADE IN THE SHADE intelectual propertys Also you are inviting a lawsuit charging BARBER OF SEVILLE RIGHTS abuses.   

       Affectionatly, Don King
bluto, Apr 21 2003
  

       isn't this essentially what a flobee (sp?) does?   

       but this idea has a high goldberg index (i.e. rube goldberg, the original proposent for using much more technology than necessary to accomplish a simple task.) and therefore, i crossant ye.
urbanmatador, Apr 21 2003
  

       spelling: Graaff
AO, Apr 21 2003
  

       ::In response to urbanmatador::   

       I imagine its much like a flobee, and most people are afraid to *use* a flobee in the first place. I mean, attaching what is virtually a vacuum cleaner equipped with scissors to one's head could not possibly be an enjoyable experiences. Being electrified to the point of my hair standing on end, however, is actually high up on my experiences-to-experience-before-I-die list. Please note the sarcasm.   

       But then, this *is* supposed to be a half-baked idea, so all in all, perfect.
JohnnyCantRead, Apr 21 2003
  

       I've thought about this so many times I had to click the link to check if it was one of mine.   

       Here's the problem:   

       If the victim (Haircuttee) has a very different charge from the hairdresser, he/she'll be shocked into a quivering pulp by the resulting static shocks, especially considering the pointy metallic scissors.   

       If you connect the victim (Haircuttee) to the hairdresser, the hair will be repelled from the scissors, comb and anything else you try to use.   

       SO, the solution is to spray the hair with charged hairspray particles that will dry the hair into a dandelion clock shape. The victim can then be discharged and the hair cut.   

       The acid test is would you subject yourself to this on a regular basis? Unfortunately I wouldn't (-).
FloridaManatee, Apr 21 2003
  

       Ummm... [Florida...], I distinctly remember mentioning PLASTIC scissors (Oh yes, there it is). If that doesnt charge you up (which means if that too carries a charge) go for WOOD scissors (Why not, you get wooden letter openers!). The point is: the whole saga concerning metal scissors has already been circumvented.   

       Thanks for the input anyways.
joker_of_the_deck, Apr 22 2003
  

       It has just occurred to me that if you apply a great enough charge to the haircuttee's bonce, the power of electrolysis may cause his hair to fall right out. Hocus pocus, presto baldie - instant grade 0 all over! Next!
friendlyfire, Apr 25 2003
  

       Couldn't the haircuttee just hang upside down and get a free back stretch at the same time....
clowntriggerfish, May 07 2005
  

       It should actually be possible to dispense with the scissors. Just wave a suitable earthed rod over the head, and at a high enough voltage, small arcs should jump from the hair-ends to the rod, burning the hair to length. Not recommended for Vulcans.
Basepair, May 07 2005
  
      
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