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Vermine

Fur-gly
  (+13, -2)(+13, -2)
(+13, -2)
  [vote for,
against]

When it comes to sartorial showing-off, you can't beat the frisson of fur. However, options are running out - baby seals are too cute, foxes have great PR, and you can forget just about any animal that has ever been in a Disney film.

Use ugly and unloved animals for making clothes - ratskin coats, pigeon-feather hats, (grey) squirrel stoles. I'm sure the truly inventive could even fashion fahionably outré garments from fishscales, spiders legs, etc.

whimsickle, Oct 04 2002

Rat Skin http://www.suite101....cfm/pet_rats/32970
Maintaining a luxurious coat. [Amos Kito, Oct 04 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Lizard and ostrich shoe. http://www.regentsh...ite/product142.html
Be the fanciest guy on your bowling team. [Amos Kito, Oct 04 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

fish leather http://oceanleather.com/wolffish.htm
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 05 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Vermine - the back story http://www.co.uk.ls...s/pqf/sourcery.html
From the pen of the great Pterry himself. [8th of 7, Oct 07 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

"Wild Animals I have known" http://store.doverp...com/0486410846.html
One of the greatest books ever. Includes a story about a rabbit. If you don't cry when you read this, you are lost to the living. [rabbit, Oct 08 2002]

Australia http://www.aus-in-s...m/survey/e2k20.html
"the largest island and the smallest continent" [Nick@Nite, Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       Gutter fabulous.
General Washington, Oct 04 2002
  

       Nice pun in the title. Have to admit I don't get the subtitle though. They say there are more rats than people in the UK - so let's turn them all into shoes, we'll get rid of the problem and plus everyone will, er, have more shoes.   

       I've never been vermined by fish, but I would wear clothing made from their skin. Yes, I would.
sild, Oct 04 2002
  

       I believe menfolk used to use fishskins to sheathe them *selves*. Maybe the Roman Catholics amongst us can tolerate that? You could use Catfish (tickler), hake (ribbed), eel (no explanation necessary), even blowfish (for Laotian Roulette).   

       Now you know what they *really* mean by, Ahmna gie tha' a fishbone.
General Washington, Oct 04 2002
  

       I'll fashion a blouse out of the webby matter that spreads between the wings and the torso of a bat.
blissmiss, Oct 04 2002
  

       // Ratskin is a favourite among gamers, presumably for its shock value. //   

       ^.^ And can be bought where?
sadie, Oct 04 2002
  

       A flea market.
sild, Oct 04 2002
  

       "Note: Your new coat is genuine rathide. Small imperfections such as scabs and bare spots are normal, and add to the unique beauty of the coat."
Amos Kito, Oct 04 2002
  

       GW's second anntn brought tears to my eyes. I can never vote again.
and another thing; is this idea the first time the word 'outré' has been used in the halfbakery? .. lg goes to do a search to find out... yup.
lewisgirl, Oct 04 2002
  

       And conveniently, une outre is a goatskin.   

       Sorry about that lg, just as long as no-one brings tears to the fishskins. The importance of keeping lips sealed, eh?   

       "Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."
General Washington, Oct 05 2002
  

       <sild> in Australia there is a company that makes clothes out of "fish leather" fish skin, I couldnt find a link though sorry.
Gulherme, Oct 05 2002
  

       Just stay away from "my" squirrels. I don't want to think that all the money we spend on sunflower seeds and peanuts is going just to make you a beautiful fur coat. (It looks great on the squirrels, though.)
TeaTotal, Oct 05 2002
  

       Waiting for 8th's take on the matter...waiting...where is he?
BinaryCookies, Oct 06 2002
  

       There's a certain dog I hope you'll turn your attention to.
rabbit, Oct 06 2002
  

       [Sophocrat] - Ew   

       For the ultimate in bad taste, get yourself a cane toad purse. They are really nasty.
madradish, Oct 06 2002
  

       Possum fur (the possum brought to the antipodes, wherever it came from) is soft and lovely. And you know they tried, they really tried, to market it, but the world hated the idea of possum fur. The upmarket folks wouldn't think of wearing such an animal, with its bad name and all. The ecofolks don't wear animal skins. And the downmarket folks don't even think about buying foreign furs - and possum? Forget it. They would rather wear woodchuck.
So they tried making possum meat palatable. But no way. Neither possum nor opossum meat would be touched by a rat. Rabbit fur (ahem??) is acceptable, because folks think rabbits are cute. Alas, the irony of it all.
rabbit, Oct 06 2002
  

       Although, Ironically, pure cotton is pretty seriously bad, ecologically. Over-intensive algriculture of it in the third world to appease western demands for "natural" clothing has proved disasterous for many ecosystems, leading to natural distruction and hunger.
yamahito, Oct 06 2002
  

       UB, wouldn't getting rid of all the rabbits cause a climate change and cool your island ?
hollajam, Oct 07 2002
  

       It would cool the farmers.
General Washington, Oct 07 2002
  

       GW, That brings me to wonder why farmers spend time and energy raising various other livestock when they can have a "free lunch"? I seem to have a propensity for issues of logic...
hollajam, Oct 07 2002
  

       "The vermine is a small black and white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself; the selfish little bastard will do anything rather than let go of it." See link.   

       //Waiting for 8th's take on the matter...waiting...where is he? //   

       He's hiding in his bunker, mulling over an idea and listening to the steady thonk....thonk....thonk... as the hordes of rabid cat lovers pump up the pressure tanks on their flamethrowers .....
8th of 7, Oct 07 2002
  

       Appearantly, Yes. We had Tyranasaurus Rex here. They're gone now. We have snow and glaciers. The jury 's still out but T-rex supposedly was "cold" blooded (except for breath maybe.) Rabbits have one of highest matabolism rates dumping lots of radiant heat. I fear for your island...
hollajam, Oct 07 2002
  

       holla- why do you keep calling Australia an island? By and large, it's the oldest continent on the planet. You puzzle me.
lewisgirl, Oct 07 2002
  

       Lewisgirl, I can just imagine...   

       "It's a subtle inuendo"
hollajam, Oct 07 2002
  

       no, I still don't understand.
lewisgirl, Oct 07 2002
  

       It's a compliment in return to UB's reference towards my geographical residence, Alaska, as "another planet."
hollajam, Oct 07 2002
  

       I hear the only thing worse than mentioning rabbits to Oz farmers is mentioning the weather. Australia being in the middle of, what, its worst-ever drought? Is that right?
'How is total extirpation... going to cause cooling?'
'No idea mate, but it's gotta be worth a burl.'
General Washington, Oct 07 2002
  

       Hollajam's query about "free lunch" hasn't been answered yet. I wonder the same thing. Aren't cattle more destructive to the environment than us harmless and cute little bunny rabbits? Not to start a flame war or anything 8)
rabbit, Oct 07 2002
  

       We are onto something with rabbits (despite my Enid Blyton induced lagophilia) - we can eat them, we can make clothes from their skin, and they breed like... well... rabbits.   

       Can we milk them, though? If yes, then the cows can go free.
whimsickle, Oct 08 2002
  

       Yes indeedy we rabbits are a good crowd. Good meat, good skins, good manure, easy care and all that. Plus we are cute and cuddly and entertaining, unlike chickens or cows. It is true, you can't get eggs off of us, and nobody thinks about milking us. But meat is better than milk. Why am I suggesting that you skin us and eat us? Because we ... oh, figure it out for yourself. There is a book I suggest. See link.
rabbit, Oct 08 2002
  

       What makes an island an island? The American continent is entirely surrounded by water/ ice - is it not then an island?
whimsickle, Oct 08 2002
  

       The rabbit is NOT the cause of the weather warming, it's all those COWS! They are constantly belching carbon dioxide from both ends... so to prevent further global warming, quit eating hamburger, (and steak and all those other cow-products), and stop drinking milk! Then the farmers will stop breeding all those greenhouse-gas critters and start producing something less harmful, like soy beans, (from which all kinds of good and tasty foods can be made, including veggieburgers BLEGH!!!)... On the other paw, (or hoof in this case), meat IS good for you, and so is milk, so maybe we can all drink soy milk with calcium and other goodstuff added? And if you believe half of what I just said, I've got a really nice BRIDGE to sell ya! ;->
Ivyonthewall, Oct 08 2002
  

       And another thing. I thought the continent was Australasia, not Australia. If it is just Australia, then where do New Zealand/ the 'nesias fit in?
whimsickle, Oct 08 2002
  

       ok, UB, you wanna mess with me? I am of the opinion that Oz is a continent, and I will justify my assertion with the following definitions. If you want to define things differently, you are welcome to call Oz an island, a peninsula, a point bar, whatever you like. You just have to define your parameters, man.

•Continent is a land mass; surrounded by seas.
Island is a land mass: surrounded by one sea.
•Continent is largely made of continental crust (typically high in aluminosilicate minerals)
Island is made of any kind of crust, including oceanic-type crust (high in ferromagnesian minerals, denser).
•Continent may extend far beyond the area which is found above sea level. e.g. the North Sea is part of the European continent. The islands of Australasia (NZ, Tasmania, etc etc correct me if I'm wrong) sit on the Australasian continental mass of which we call Australia the main land component of the continent, and we shorten this term to 'the continent' in many cases.
Islands belonging to a continent cover typically a small fraction of the area of their main 'parent' landmass. Thus Britain is an island on the NW edge of the European continental shelf, and 'The British Isles' is the term for the collection of islands large and small from Wight to Man to Shetland and from Lindisfarne to Ireland (yep, the whole thing) to Rockall.
•Continents are typically built around a very ancient blob of rock called a craton (and in the case of Australia you may be forgiven for misreading that as 'cretin').
Islands turn up anywhere the bloody hell they like.

furthermore, I reserve the right to make my own exceptions to one or more of these 'rules' willy-nilly.
lewisgirl, Oct 08 2002
  

       "Many modern atlases and geography experts now consider the long-established continent of Australia to be better defined as Australia/Oceania, which then combines and includes all of (Australia), the large island groups of New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Fiji, Solomons, and the countless volcanic and coral islands of the south Pacific Ocean including those of Micronesia, Melanesia and Polynesia."
FarmerJohn, Oct 08 2002
  

       // Britain is an island on the NW edge of the European continental shelf, and 'The British Isles' is the term for the collection of islands large and small from Wight to Man to Shetland and from Lindisfarne to Ireland (yep, the whole thing) to Rockall //   

       Not quite. Depending on who you listen to (and the voices in Norman Tebbit's head are quite emphatic about this), Europe is a large island on the eastern edge of the British continental shelf, adjacent to the British Archipelago(Channel islands). Hence the famous headline, "Fog in Channel - Continent cut off !".
8th of 7, Oct 08 2002
  

       FJ: yep, y'see that's more of a political atlas definition. In no geographic or geological sense is Australia connected to Micronesia. PNG and the eastern slice of NZ are part of the Indonesian system, if you ask me. The western slice of NZ is arguable, but I'm sticking with Oz is Oz is Oz.
8/7: very funny.
lewisgirl, Oct 08 2002
  

       Hang on hang on. lg, you're not making a tectonic case for continent definitions, surely? Or does LA belong to Japan?
General Washington, Oct 08 2002
  

       can't blame me for using the system with which I'm most comfortable shirley?
LA part of Japan? Are you fick or summat?
lewisgirl, Oct 08 2002
  

       Yes, but the real Land of Oz (Ah's) is Kansas of "Wizard of Oz" fame.
FarmerJohn, Oct 08 2002
  

       \\ Island is a land mass: surrounded by one sea. \\   

       Now I am more confused - Britain is not an island (Irish Sea, Atlantic, North Sea all getting a look-in)?   

       Can I borrow one of your will-nilly exceptions, please, lg?
whimsickle, Oct 08 2002
  

       Of vermine: Our nusances run around 1000 lbs for an average cow moose. They're a joy to watch saunter through the yard especially with new twin calves -- like watching lollygagging hullaballoons -- until the destruction is realized. --Half eaten heads of giant 65 lb cabbages, entire beds of broccoli plant tops mutilated--   

       But bull moose are 'legal game hunting'. The bulls make 'free lunches' out of season with a crossbow. The cow moose are *always off limits...   

       Which reminds me how quiet it feels to miss the boat sometimes and be the last one around for each solar day...
hollajam, Oct 09 2002
  

       Ratskin boots? Huh? How about a (b)roach? Or an alley-gator purse? Ewww.   

       I thought the whole point of wearing fur was that you were wearing the barbarically extracted skin of a fuzzy wuzzy animal. Remember 101 Dalmations? A Disney movie, yes.   

       On second thought, maybe ratskin is all that wearers of fur deserve to wear along with their (b)roach. I'm neutral on this one. I dunno what I'll wear with the fishskin from my dead goldfish, but I'm holding onto the fishbone for now. I'm thinking I'll wear my gopher pants and my new mouse blouse instead.
polartomato, Oct 09 2002
  

       Although I have never been to Alaska, I think of it as magnificently, vastly unforgivingly glorious. Would anyone dream of taming it? Would an Alaskan man pretend with pretty phrases and quotations from English poets to be civilized and intellectual? If you can even live in Alaska, you've proved yourself right there. And the rabbits have not been imported by stupid human beings, nor are other stupid human beings trying to kill them off with fancy viruses. And I would far rather die of cold than die of thirst or snakebite, much less of some civilized disease. Cattle ranchers are the total scum of the earth. People who pretend to hardship -bah! People who pretend to struggle with nature and to know it - double bah! Alaska is the real thing, and may it always be. End of rant.
rabbit, Oct 09 2002
  

       "How many lawyers did they have to shoot to make that coat?"
RayfordSteele, Oct 29 2002
  

       You're very brave to post here, [rabbit].
dbmag9, Apr 22 2006
  
      
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