Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Invented by someone French.

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Wait.....loss program

Why Wait
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,

I unlike you, am a incredibly fit and healthy person. I make it my business every day to generally walk around with no shirt on, and look down my nose at people down the gym when they are running slower than me, or lifting lighter weights. The other day I was waiting in a queue with a group of large overweight people (not unlike yourselves), when I thought this time could be better spent doing something else. Why not I thought install backwards running travelators in queues, so you walk while you wait. You have to be walking faster than the travelator to reach the front of the queue. No queue, better run. There's your incentive fatsos. I would like to apologise for the aggressive nature of this idea. Sorry.
Mr Risk, May 01 2003

Wait.....loss program http://poetry.rotten.com/weightlifter/
WARNING: Not for the squeamish - only for Mr Risk
For those users on a corporate connection, the above link is very much off limits. This kind of thing can get people fired. [thumbwax, Oct 21 2004]


       Fat people expressing fat opinions. Oh sorry it happened again. (with the exception of reensure who I love)
Mr Risk, May 01 2003

       If only you knew Mr Burns, if only.
Mr Risk, May 01 2003

       This made me snigger. I think it's quite a good idea - certainly brings new meaning to the term "express checkout". It could actually work I reckon, though ironically only fit people would go for it.
sild, May 01 2003

       Okay. Anybody got change of a Thursday?
dustmonkey, May 01 2003

       MrRisk, Your talents are wasted on these philistines. Have a wry croissant.
ato_de, May 01 2003

       ato_de, I can't help but notice that you continually egg on those who have differing views than that of the majority of the 'bakers. You seem to have a problem with the 'bakery in general, or a notion that there's a status quo, clique, pecking order, etc.. Well, there's not. If there *is* anything folks have in common, that you apparently have a problem with, it's simply that I/we/they recognize that we're here, re-inventing the wheels of our minds, daily. Re-inventing the wheel may be silly, but it's much less silly than inventing a wheel that needs a new road. So what if there's already 10,000 different wheels, create another one if it feels good; however, make sure that it interoperates with that which already exists, and have fun while we're at it. Your chief failing, and that of those with their tongues wedged firmly in their collective ass-cheeks, who rail against the 'bakery and it's inhabitants, is it does absolutely no good for you to fan these particular flames, as your squeaky little wheels get no grease, they only make annoying noises. The 'bakery will be sailing along, merrily, as it was only a week ago, and some idiot will come in and screw with the good mood. Sooner than later, the next idiot will be gone, we'll pop champagne, you'll shed a tear. Or, you'll help re-invent the wheel, instead of hindering the progress. If not, then you don't love the 'bakery and it's best traipse off to someplace else in this, oh, so large internet.
h a l f b a k e r y - love it or leave, er, lump it
thumbwax, May 01 2003

       Thanks for the warning on your link, [thumb].   

       Seems to me like MrRisk is having us on. Nobody's that much of an egomaniac.
snarfyguy, May 01 2003

       I would enjoy a good walk instead of waiting. As a UCSB student, I am surrounded by attitude that slenderness is a measure of virtue (mostly for the many females running around the lagoon in sportsbras, hoping to advertise their fitness). That being said, I also think that a good portion of the developed world needs a serious lifestyle change. I like it.
mandy, May 01 2003

       Confirmation of UCSB advert of wares - spent many a weekend in Isla Vista/Goleta/SB.
thumbwax, May 02 2003

       It seems to me that most things I write on this web site go over most heads. It appears that a explanation is required. Here we go, now listen carefully I wouldn't want you to get lost on the way. Mr Risk (me) was not intending to insult everyone as a few of you picked up on, he was presenting an idea, travelators at queues. He was just trying to make the context of what admittedly is a particularly average idea a little more fun to read. I'm sorry if it drove some of you to do stupid things. i.e. self harm, kicking the cat. I even know this annotation will be taken the wrong way, no harm intended. Kiss kiss, hug hug. xxx
Mr Risk, May 02 2003

       //Kiss kiss, hug hug. xxx//   

       Assault~! Someone call a police officer!   

       Welcome to the Bakery, where tongue-in-cheek is always appreciated, but seldom recognized.
FloridaManatee, May 02 2003

       Mr Risk - I know you're having fun, as it's virtually impossible to miss. I'm kinda like a filthy lawyer - I do my best to draw out Trolls like ato_de - the truth shall set you free.
thumbwax, May 02 2003

       The point of this website I thought is to present ideas in a fun way, when I do this in a tongue in cheek fashion. To my horror very few people seem to understand, and some fascist or other seems to mark it for deletion (DrCurry, burning books again). Its not like there is no idea here. Am I talking to myself here people.
Mr Risk, May 02 2003

       I like the notion that getting in line would need to be followed by STAYING in line.......those faster than you would pass you if the travelator was set at more than a dawdle.....   

       Mr Risk. since you asked, you were taunting, it was funny......but remeber, we can't see the endearing crook on your upper lip, or the glint in your eye or any of the other non-verbals that enable robust ribbing without losing your audience.............and how are you so sure that you are not getting your own medicine from the others???......ie perhaps they all just went way over YOUR head......!   

       A good plan in conflict is , if you cant get your head out of your arse, hold your breath till things calm down......
peter2, May 02 2003

       Well said peter2
Mr Risk, May 02 2003

       Well you've been an asshole before, so you can't blame people for thinking you might be an asshole now.   

       When placing tongue-successfully-in-cheek, one needs to be aware of the probability that one will be accurately assessed as doing so, or there's no point in bothering. If the majority miss your joke and think you're a jerk, well, you're a jerk no matter what your intent.
waugsqueke, May 02 2003

       Another good point, so your saying if people think i'm a jerk I'm a jerk. So its me thats wrong?!! er.......?
Mr Risk, May 02 2003

       Thanks for the link Jutta, case and point.
Mr Risk, May 02 2003

       OMG thumbwax.   

       I have to be in a very special frame of mind to tolerate that site >> It actually scare's the shite out of me.   

       It's the site where i can imagine weve actually passed the portal to the nether world. ..and that everything is really not very nice.   

       This guy's portal seems to have been passed too.   

       So THAT'S where mr risk's head was.......
peter2, May 02 2003

       Already being fit and healthy, I welcome the opportunity to be force-fed exercise, because I loathe it.   

       However, I also loathe men who walk around without their shirt on, even gorgeous ones, because it reminds me of my ex, who did it constantly when he was 18 and lived on MacDougal Street.   

       If you're over 18, you should know better, shouldn't you?
grecosartre, May 02 2003

       I've just checked in the mirror, and putting your tongue in your cheek does indeed make you look fat. Perhaps that's where the confusion has arisen...
friendlyfire, May 02 2003

       [Thumbwax] I praise what I think is praiseworthy. I flame what I think is Flameworthy. I defend what I think is defensible. I attack what I think is vulnerable. I play by the rules. I point out the rules to the ignorant... with extreme prejudice.   

       I am here with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek, (my ass cheek if you prefer) and it seems to me, your problem is that my tongue isn’t planted in your ass cheek. There is a “pecking order,” there is always a pecking order, I just don’t give a damn about it, and there is no reason for you to get all pissy because I haven’t recognized your place in it.
ato_de, May 02 2003

       Oh, chill on the pecking order crap. He's all pissy because you encourage assholes, and that tends to bring the quality level of halfbakery ideas way down. If you don't give a damn about that either, well, go for it.
waugsqueke, May 02 2003

       If this idea had been presented without inflammatory language and tongue in cheek superiority, it would be warm and flaky.   

       "Treadmills in line” Work your calves and thighs while waiting to buy your macrobiotic tofu... A wonderful new way to use your waiting time to keep fit... Fun for the whole family... Jr. can turn his up to 11 and run to get out all that energy and keep from bugging the grumpy old fart who hates kids...   

       The bones here are for imagined slights and defensive posturing.
ato_de, May 02 2003

       What waugs said.
thumbwax, May 02 2003

       [marked-for-deletion] Ha ha X.
johnjacob, May 02 2003

       I think it's time I reposted my "Restrict MFDs to admins" idea. Obviously no one else has a fucking clue what they're for and how to use them.
waugsqueke, May 02 2003

       "no one else" or perhaps just people who have created their account today?
Worldgineer, May 02 2003

       [waugs], as I see it, this idea is ridiculous. It's no better than 'Fat Tax' and is clearly in bad taste. Any idea posted in such a vulgar manner defacing overweight people needs to be deleted.
johnjacob, May 02 2003

       JohnJacob: Bad taste and vulgarity are not proper criteria for [m-f-d]-ing an idea. This is not gross-out humor.
snarfyguy, May 02 2003

       I'll say it again
//I/we/they recognize that we're here, re-inventing the wheels of our minds, daily. Re-inventing the wheel may be silly, but it's much less silly than inventing a wheel that needs a new road. So what if there's already 10,000 different wheels, create another one if it feels good; however, make sure that it interoperates with that which already exists, and have fun while we're at it.//
The mood ain't ugly, it's honest.
thumbwax, May 02 2003

       I say scrap the whole MFD idea.... if you have evidence that an idea is baked provide the link and let people decide for them selves. Let people give fishes to those who deserve them. If this is a democratic setup then there is no moral police. Good taste and bad taste and subjective. Let it remain that way.
nomadic_wonderer, Jan 31 2004

       By the people I mean us brown folk for the tea growing world. what did you think?
nomadic_wonderer, Jan 31 2004

       I propose the creation of a lazy man's queue travelator, in which the scenery of the queue (such as shelves of tinned food, a screaming mother screaming at a screaming baby) are projected onto screens either side of the queue, and they are filmed in such a way that they appear to be moving past you, creating the illusion that you are moving when you are actually standing still
spiritualized, Jan 31 2004

       Found this doing a search for prior art on a new idea, thought it was funny and worth a bump, especially as it's pre-2004 and has lost all its votes. Shame about the hissy fits in the annos though. It's clearly written in an overtly egotistical manner, made me laugh anyway. [+]
theleopard, Oct 26 2009

       I like the idea, I'd go for a little jog while queueing for stuff. You could have varying levels of speed depending upon how quickly you want to be served, the quicker the run the quicker the service.
kaz, Oct 26 2009

       well worth the bump [+]
FlyingToaster, Oct 26 2009


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