Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Weight Watchers SAS

Who dares wins a new figure
  (+7, -3)
(+7, -3)
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So what is the idea behind weightwatchers? You turn up each weak and are subjected to ritual humiliation (if you haven't lost any weight) or praise (if you have) point being that the deterrent should help you to 'be good'.
But it doesn't always work. You so easily give into temptation. So what if someone was REALLY watching your weight? I mean, all the time?
The Weight Watchers SAS is a new service from that doyenne of dieting regimes. Staffed by ex-special forces operatives, for a large fee someone is permanently assigned to watch your weight. And they have a loaded gun.
So if you transgress? As you lift that donut towards your mouth, it is expertly blasted out of you hand by a 7.62 round from a carefully aimed Hechler and Kock sniper rifle. Let us watch your weight. You watch your back.

Weight loss guaranteed.

(small print: Those of a nervous disposition are warned that being shot at even by trained marksmen can be stressful. We do not recommend this service for those with very short arms.)

goff, Feb 18 2002

[link]






       be a great service to help stop smoking too.
runforrestrun, Feb 18 2002
  

       or any nasty habit ((((shiver))))
po, Feb 18 2002
  

       Quitters, Inc.?
phoenix, Feb 19 2002
  

       From "Night Shift", not "Four Past Midnight".
Guncrazy, Feb 19 2002
  

       Thin? You'll be skeletal!
pottedstu, Feb 19 2002
  

       Also in the film "Cat's Eye".
waugsqueke, Feb 20 2002
  

       Me thinks this would be self-defeating for a lot of anxious people, as the stress from being shot at would make them gain weight back. To fight the stress they'd yearn to eat more and more sweets ... Eventually they'd be shot dead.
Sulla 's Ghost, Feb 21 2002
  

       <pedant> week not weak, Heckler&Koch, not Hechler&Koch</pedant>
Saruman, Jul 06 2002
  
      
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